tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post117247714920976778..comments2023-10-18T01:11:04.071-07:00Comments on An open space in a forest.: Katepinetreehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06536621216802367938noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1173061532745361672007-03-04T18:25:00.000-08:002007-03-04T18:25:00.000-08:00Oh my God, I do the exact same thing. Only, it's l...Oh my God, I do the exact same thing. Only, it's like "could I love this guy even a fraction as much as I loved my cheating ex-boyfriend?" and the answer is usually no, because I'll never trust another man again. We have a lot in common, you and I. We rebel against this seemingly perfect world while at the same time pressing our faces against the class and thinking "I want that. I really want that." Although I couldn't have put it as perfectly as you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to think myself to death, and prevent all good things from happening to me because I'm watching for them and so I avoid them. <BR/><BR/>The head almost always gets in the way in matters of the heart. And so, my advice to you is this:<BR/>If you're having trouble falling in love, Pinetree, stop choosing your steps so carefully. And maybe close your eyes...Vandersunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558423838419104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172596927846957822007-02-27T09:22:00.000-08:002007-02-27T09:22:00.000-08:00I had a similar situation once in oregon, I finall...I had a similar situation once in oregon, I finally asked the girl out and realized she wasn't as fun up close - and I was sooo happy afterward that I did it - so you should just get it over with...epadavitohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13120917452024577621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172529831580900072007-02-26T14:43:00.000-08:002007-02-26T14:43:00.000-08:00I guess everyone pretty much already said this, bu...I guess everyone pretty much already said this, but I'll say it again anyway--just be her friend. Even if nothing happens, at least you'll get a friend out of it. And if you are really interested in her, then things might progress further than that. Just slow down a bit--small steps. And good luck.Stephalumpagushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12586076007803308768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172524984589915272007-02-26T13:23:00.000-08:002007-02-26T13:23:00.000-08:00I really appreciate your post and I sympathize wit...I really appreciate your post and I sympathize with your plight. It appears that this is the overriding conflict for SSA guys who want to live the gospel and get married. I think that leading a girl on implies that you show interest where there is none. But in your case it seems you’re sincerely interested in her. If you think there is even the tiniest bit of potential then you owe it to yourself to explore it. Otherwise, you'll never know and you'll likely regret it. The thing about relationships is that if we knew in advance whether we were compatible or that everything would work out in the end there would be no real point in dating or courtship, we’d just jump straight into marriage. The fact is that people go out with each other with all kinds of unknowns, and in every situation both parties have their own stuff they’re dealing with. <BR/><BR/>Also, thank you SG! Good to hear there is hope for those of us who made it to 26 without so much as kissing a girl.Wayward Sonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04875493742068817898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172521145992309122007-02-26T12:19:00.000-08:002007-02-26T12:19:00.000-08:00As one who was in your shoes about 20 years ago, h...As one who was in your shoes about 20 years ago, here's my two cents. Back then we didn't come out and say "I think I'm falling in love with you and I'm gay". We were told to get married and things would work themselves out. Well, they did, but not without a lot of pain and patience.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, back to where you are today. Get to know her. Just be friends for now (maybe just for a short now). Find out what you have in common and how compatible you are. Believe it or now, I'd never really dated anyone seriously before I met my wife (I was 26); she had lots more experience than me. I'd never really even kissed a girl. <BR/><BR/>I knew I loved being with her. We had so much in common. I loved the feeling I had when I held her hand. One night we were walking around, talking, and we stopped and looked at each other and we kissed - it blew me away - I seriously didn't know how to do that.<BR/><BR/>That was 6 weeks after we first met. We've been married 22 years. She still loves me and I adore her. <BR/><BR/>All the things you talked about - about having a family - can happen if you work really hard at it. Get to know each other and trust each other. Be honest with each other. Tell her about your attractions and challenges. She can be your best support and ally, but only if she know. She can make an informed decision. <BR/><BR/>My wife tells me she would make the same decision today that she did 22 years ago. One day at a time. If two righteous people love each other and work at a marriage together - no matter what the challenges - they can make their marriage work.SGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05418779785748125429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172517947826129262007-02-26T11:25:00.000-08:002007-02-26T11:25:00.000-08:00I really appreciate your description of a future f...I really appreciate your description of a future family. It's helpful because sometimes I get so complacent about the whole thing I forget how wonderful it could be. I think you have a wonderful intention and I agree with the others--take it a step at a time and let God guide you in it. Good luck!<BR/><BR/>PS: That was fun to meet you and chat last night. Glad you got to come!l'écureuilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04609034487632505827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172504502428090592007-02-26T07:41:00.000-08:002007-02-26T07:41:00.000-08:00Don't over-think it. Take it a step at a time, li...Don't over-think it. Take it a step at a time, like agirlwho says. And like robb says. Just take it one step at a time. Go hang out. If it goes somewhere, great. It's not like you're trying to marry her by next weekend!Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11483492.post-1172502746220484032007-02-26T07:12:00.000-08:002007-02-26T07:12:00.000-08:00Just start hanging out with her. One step at a ti...Just start hanging out with her. One step at a time. I mean, I dated someone with SSA. It didn't work out, but we are still friends. It's worth it, even if it's just to gain a new friend. You don't have to worry about what to tell her or when... baby steps. Hahaha... I don't think my advice is very good right now. I'm so tired. Just remember that she's a person, not a means to an end.Nicholehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12254379774458667454noreply@blogger.com