I fell asleep on the grass today. It's the second time this week I've done that. On Monday night/Tuesday morning, Smurf, Jessica and I sat on the grass outside my apartment talking late into the night. Everything Jessica said was hilarious. Probably because it was 3 in the morning. I was just sitting in my green blanket on the grass rolling around laughing at whatever she and Robbie were saying.

"Rice is a good food for when you want to eat a thousand of something." Haha!

When they left I was so tired that I just decided to sleep there in the grass on one of my Vans shoes, the pair with the dried paint all over them. It was a warm night and I slept fine, which is funny because the next day it snowed like crazy. Utah weather is insane.

Today I dozed off again on the grass at a BYU Lacrosse game. Technically I was working, but nothing was happening at all and this other kid John was running the trailer we were selling stuff out of. It was some good sleeping, and I made $14 at it!

We have a new van for the bookstore. I got to drive it today. It's way too big in my opinion, but the acceleration is a lot better than in the old vans.

A few things I've been meaning to comment on:

Soulforce: I felt very misrepresented on both sides of the issue. BYU was far too restrictive with Soulforce. We could have let them have a forum or make a speech and it wouldn't have done any harm. Also, it didn't seem like people at BYU really stopped to think that maybe some of what Soulforce said had any validity to it. There was this prevailing smug attitude in the newspaper the next day congratulating students on how well they had swept that little mess under the rug. Did anyone actually listen or did we all just put on our "tolerant" face and hold our breath until the gay people were gone or arrested?
While I wanted very badly to support Soulforce because it seemed they were fighting for the underdog, they ultimately they had their own agenda and didn't cater very well to an LDS audience. In fact, they were sort of embarrassing. They were trying to promote things that very few people (gays at BYU included) were going to be okay with and they attacked the church and doctrine, and not just BYU's policies as an institution. This was a big mistake, especially because there is plenty of room for BYU to be well within church doctrine AND more open, accepting, and helpful to gay students. Furthermore, the group skewed facts and lied in their press release about BYU to make the school look much more totalitarian and horrible than it really is. Towards the end of their stint at BYU, I didn't want to be affiliated with them at all. I wish there was some university approved medium through which gay BYU students could speak for themselves. I don't like having to rely on some outside force to raise it's own voice for me.

Caleb Kane: Gilmore Guy sent me a song a couple days ago by this guy. It's called "In Your Own Way." It's my new favorite song for now. Check it out, and props to Gilmore Guy for his excellent selection.

Los Hermanos: I recently got another job here. I love working at this place! I always like jobs in the food industry. I loved In-N-Out, BYU Catering, and now this. You don't even have to get a college degree for it or anything! I should just do this stuff forever. The work is fast paced so time goes by really quickly. I passed my server test a little over a week into the job, and so now I get to start waiting tables and making tips. The people are really cool and even if they're not in a good mood, they pretend to be because they have to make money and the whole feeling is contageous so even if you don't come in feeling all that great, work makes you happy. Smurf works there too and it's great because he saves my butt every now and then by covering a shift for me or by making Nick, the manager, smile and laugh when he's supposed to be mad at me for counting money wrong or doing something dumb. Smurf is definitely one of my best pals, it's cool to work with him. I'm glad he's as smart about people as he is.

And Lastly: I'm slowly learning to be around people who are very different than me socially and personality wise. It's sort of a painful thing, but good I think. Not necessarily to be friends, but just acquainted with them and courteous and let them know you're around and you can listen. Everyone just wants to know someone gives a damn, you know? Sometimes it's hard to care about people, so I have to work extra hard, but I know it can be pretty difficult to be friends with or care about me too, and that's just how it is. I'm very thankful for people who are patient with me, so I hope I can always pass on that buck. I need to constantly work on that.