Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Where to plant Pinetree.

Today I worked an afternoon shift at lunch. It’ my second time being a waiter. I waited tables for a party of 9, a party of 11, and a few groups of 2 to 4. I made bank! I worked 5 hours (stressing the whole time, but I think I’m getting over that little by little) and made about 70 bucks! This was partly with a little help from Smurf again (I love that kid) who smoothed things over with a table after I forgot to get some lady a Sangria, got a guacamole to the table late, and even briefly gave the wrong food to the wrong people. It was mess! But then Smurf just gingerly walked up to them and asked in what I imagine was some polite old lady voice and asked, “How’s he doing? It’s his first day.” (Actually it was my second) And everyone replied graciously that I was doing great and the next time I saw everyone at my table they were just extra nice to me and that made everything turn around! Smurf works his people magic in these little discrete ways and it's so helpful and turns big deals into little deals and everyone is happier for it. I love it. They left a big old gratuity on the bill and one of the ladies approached me at the end and slipped a $5 bill into my hand saying “Here’s a little something for you.” Wha!? They had already left a 15% gratuity on a 130 dollar order that I had messed up a couple times. Oh man, I was just happy that there are super cool people who overlook stupid little things and are just nice because they can be. It made my day. And Smurf got props from one of the owners of the restaurant becuase he was caught in the act of checking on my table for me and I’m the new guy. It was a big win-win-win-win situation. I like those.

Yesterday I got an elementary school Spanish class that came in for a field trip and all ordered Little Amigos. It was a blast and they all ordered in quasi-Spanish and this other waiter, Isaac, helped me out with everything and the teachers left a fatty tip too because I had kinda worked the Spanish thing with all the little kids and taught them words and played around with them. I kinda stress out a little at this job because I seriously care about making sure everyone is taken care of, but I’m getting better and faster and working at it and the stress goes down and it just becomes more and more fun.

Anyways, enough of that. I’ll try to avoid Los Hermanos talk unless it’s absolutely necessary on here because I’m sure it bores the hell out of most people. But it’s my blog, so whatcha gonna do?

After work today I went to look for apartments with Smurf on this extroardinarily beautiful day here in Provo. So far I have these options:

- Move in with friend Cranguy. Cranguy is moving into some apartments up by University Parkway which is even farther from work than I am now. His roommates will be a bunch of flaming homos with the exception of one. I really don’t mind that, but I don’t want anything going down with this one kid I think is pretty hot (who I would also share a room with), and also I want to be able to invite people over without worrying about covering up all the gay stuff or my roommates scaring normal heterosexual people off. So, while the option is attractive (mostly because of the one kid) it is probly not the best idea.

- Move in with friend Gilmore Guy. Also really far from campus and pretty dang expensive. Really sweet apartment though and Gilmore Guy is awesome, definitely a trustworthy friend. He also keeps a clean house. Neat freak girls come over to visit him and marvel at how emaculate everything is. It would definitely make me think twice about leaving shoes in the front room or bowls on the coffee table. That would be good. But super far away and about double the price of everything else I’m looking at

- Stay at the Villa, just switch buildings. I don’t really want to do this. I like changing things up every now and then and if I have to move out of this building which is going under maintenance over the summer, I might as well find a different location to live. I’d also like a dishwasher and something a lot closer to Los Hermanos. The people here are all kinda boring too, even if they’re really nice, and the buildings are kinda crappy.

- Move into an apartment with Smurf south of campus. It would be a ton closer to work and meets all my needs and wants except that it has no dishwasher and the rooms are a bit small. I can overlook those things though, and this is probably my most viable option. However, while Smurf is one of my best friends and I love the guy to death, I worry about living with him and getting in some stupid squabble. Here is how I imagine it happening: Smurf makes a huge mess and reasons it away in some very very logical smart way and I get frustrated that I’m walking through a place that looks like his current apartment does and our whole friendship comes to a crashing halt over the summer because of an accumulation of little occurences like that... and well that would just be pretty fucking dumb.
On another note, I would also worry about my folks finding out I live with Smurf because I've mentioned him to them before. I don’t want them thinking all these really wrong stupid things about he and I that seriously couldn’t be further from the truth.

In the meantime, I need a place by Friday. I know all this indecision seems pretty petty and and green of me, but well, too bad. I don’t want some ridiculous replay of my last summer at BYU or any other kind of terrible. This summer has the potential to be incredible and I don’t want to screw it all up because I placed myself in all the wrong circumstances.

In other news:

El Veneno is leaving home sweet Provo for good to go be an adult in Salt Lake because he is now and educated and graduated man. Too bad. He is a very cool, level-headed guy that I earnestly look up to and respect and I’m glad we got to hang out and go running and go to the gym and meet some crazy weird people together. I hope he still graces us with his presence every now and then, and that he finds only good things in this new stage of life.

Read this link: http://lds.org/newsroom/showrelease/0,15503,4028-1-23253,00.html
This makes me a little heartsick. I’m not sure I personally agree with this very bold endorsement. I don’t like imposing my beliefs on other people very much, even if it is through a democratic process. I like to think that the ultimate way to do things is try to live by example, even if my efforts don’t always live up to expectations. At any rate, this statement feels like something that I have to squeeze into my testimony somehow and I think it’s going to be a little bit painful. I don’t know how I feel about it.

I need to go out with some girls. I hate approaching this subject. I don’t know how to. I’m sure I can find some girl to date me. I think. But it can’t be all serious or anything because well, obviously... And I just need to be around them more and figure them out better. I wish I could fast forward that part though and just get married to someone cool and smart and start having some babies. Cute, good looking babies. And doing normal family things and having a job and going camping and playing around in the backyard and doing the dishes and paying bills. I really think I could commit to all that and handle it fine, it’s just a matter of getting to that point. Maybe that sounds crazy? I hope not. I like to think it could happen someday, despite myself.

Okay, enough of this post. Later, all.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


I fell asleep on the grass today. It's the second time this week I've done that. On Monday night/Tuesday morning, Smurf, Jessica and I sat on the grass outside my apartment talking late into the night. Everything Jessica said was hilarious. Probably because it was 3 in the morning. I was just sitting in my green blanket on the grass rolling around laughing at whatever she and Robbie were saying.

"Rice is a good food for when you want to eat a thousand of something." Haha!

When they left I was so tired that I just decided to sleep there in the grass on one of my Vans shoes, the pair with the dried paint all over them. It was a warm night and I slept fine, which is funny because the next day it snowed like crazy. Utah weather is insane.

Today I dozed off again on the grass at a BYU Lacrosse game. Technically I was working, but nothing was happening at all and this other kid John was running the trailer we were selling stuff out of. It was some good sleeping, and I made $14 at it!

We have a new van for the bookstore. I got to drive it today. It's way too big in my opinion, but the acceleration is a lot better than in the old vans.

A few things I've been meaning to comment on:

Soulforce: I felt very misrepresented on both sides of the issue. BYU was far too restrictive with Soulforce. We could have let them have a forum or make a speech and it wouldn't have done any harm. Also, it didn't seem like people at BYU really stopped to think that maybe some of what Soulforce said had any validity to it. There was this prevailing smug attitude in the newspaper the next day congratulating students on how well they had swept that little mess under the rug. Did anyone actually listen or did we all just put on our "tolerant" face and hold our breath until the gay people were gone or arrested?
While I wanted very badly to support Soulforce because it seemed they were fighting for the underdog, they ultimately they had their own agenda and didn't cater very well to an LDS audience. In fact, they were sort of embarrassing. They were trying to promote things that very few people (gays at BYU included) were going to be okay with and they attacked the church and doctrine, and not just BYU's policies as an institution. This was a big mistake, especially because there is plenty of room for BYU to be well within church doctrine AND more open, accepting, and helpful to gay students. Furthermore, the group skewed facts and lied in their press release about BYU to make the school look much more totalitarian and horrible than it really is. Towards the end of their stint at BYU, I didn't want to be affiliated with them at all. I wish there was some university approved medium through which gay BYU students could speak for themselves. I don't like having to rely on some outside force to raise it's own voice for me.

Caleb Kane: Gilmore Guy sent me a song a couple days ago by this guy. It's called "In Your Own Way." It's my new favorite song for now. Check it out, and props to Gilmore Guy for his excellent selection.

Los Hermanos: I recently got another job here. I love working at this place! I always like jobs in the food industry. I loved In-N-Out, BYU Catering, and now this. You don't even have to get a college degree for it or anything! I should just do this stuff forever. The work is fast paced so time goes by really quickly. I passed my server test a little over a week into the job, and so now I get to start waiting tables and making tips. The people are really cool and even if they're not in a good mood, they pretend to be because they have to make money and the whole feeling is contageous so even if you don't come in feeling all that great, work makes you happy. Smurf works there too and it's great because he saves my butt every now and then by covering a shift for me or by making Nick, the manager, smile and laugh when he's supposed to be mad at me for counting money wrong or doing something dumb. Smurf is definitely one of my best pals, it's cool to work with him. I'm glad he's as smart about people as he is.

And Lastly: I'm slowly learning to be around people who are very different than me socially and personality wise. It's sort of a painful thing, but good I think. Not necessarily to be friends, but just acquainted with them and courteous and let them know you're around and you can listen. Everyone just wants to know someone gives a damn, you know? Sometimes it's hard to care about people, so I have to work extra hard, but I know it can be pretty difficult to be friends with or care about me too, and that's just how it is. I'm very thankful for people who are patient with me, so I hope I can always pass on that buck. I need to constantly work on that.