Monday, February 25, 2008

Meet the Parents

I just got back from an interview with Holland America to be a tour director this summer. I still have my black slacks and shirt and tie on as I sit here on my bed writing this.

Ack! I have such mixed feelings about this job! I was trying to feign excitement about it at the interview but really I was sort of ambivalent. I want to go to Alaska so I can earn lots of money for school next year and so that I can get a free cruise to send my parents on vacation. My dad, who used to be in the navy, has always wanted to go on a cruise to Alaska to see the glaciers.

On the other hand, I have an amazing boyfriend and great friends here in Utah and I want to get a jump on school, possibly even starting this summer. Also, there are so many things I want to do and places I want to go this summer and I won't be able to do any of them if I'm in Alaska...though I'm sure it will be great to see more of Alaska than I did last year.

So to sum this up, I'm totally cool with getting hired or rejected, but I'd like to find out soon so that I can start planning my life.

In other news, I drove up to Kaysville and met most of Jon's family yesterday. (He met my parents a few days ago)

First of all, Kaysville is way out there. I love it though. It's not the suburban, commercial, overrun with billboards and concrete and signs sort of place that Utah County and a lot of Salt Lake County are. Kaysville is still a lot of country. It's growing, but the houses are farther apart and there are still places where you can look out and see open spaces and big sky.

It was a little bit weird at his house with his parents, but mostly good. They made small talk (though sometimes my mind went blanks and I didn't know what to say or what exactly they were talking about) and we had dinner over there. His mom makes amazing cookies, so really thats all I needed to like her. His parents are a lot like mine, actually. Mom is the more sociable of the pair and worries about her kids a lot and the state of her marriage depresses her sometimes. Dad is more distant, but very opinionated if you get him talking. I can understand these people.

After dinner we went to Jon's sister's place to watch the Oscars. His sister and her husband are way cool and a lot of fun. Jon's sister, Em, has a best friend, Kerry, who is a lesbian, and Kerry and her partner were there too. We had most of the gamut of sexuality covered in that living room. The lesbians were a riot to be with...extra hilarious girls. They fastforwarded through most of the Oscars though (tivo) and that was kind of annoying, but I guess Jon's sister and I were the only ones who actually wanted to see everything because everyone else seemed to cheer Kerry on when she grabbed the remote and pushed the fast forward button through whatever she deemed to be boring. I didn't fight it though, I just sat back and ate Reese's peanut butter cups to my heart's content.

We went back to Jon's place and talked and had some sweet sweet action in Jon's room (yeah, so nice...he's hot) and then I drove home.

I'm still feeling a little tethered in this thing. We're at the point where I know if it ended, it would hurt Jon. And me too a little...this guy is really incredible and I love him. There are so many things I want to do yet in life that would require me to move or be away though...I need to figure out how to make this work.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I've been laughing about this for about three days now. Hehe.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sound off.

Here are some of my thoughts lately. They're a mess. Tell me what you think if you make it through.

Carol Lynn Pearson:
I read Goodbye, I Love You today. Its such a good book and if you're reading this blog I recommend it to you. It made me miss church a little. And California. It made me think of this time when I was about 8 and my Mom had a broken leg and the church really kept my family afloat. We had two Relief Society sisters over every day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Different ladies in the ward brought our family dinner every night. Charity did not fail. You know what I love about the church? That. I miss hometeaching too, and service projects and teaching in priesthood.

On the flipside, the book also reminded me about that particular aspect of Mormon culture, especially here in Utah, where everyone is trying to look like they're perfect already. Like their marriage is great even when its on the rocks, and porn and homosexuality and divorce don't exist, and we pretend there isn't any tension about race or sex but there is. We keep hidden a lot of female self-esteem issues and male sexuality issues and the two exacerbate each other and lead to a host of other problems. Plastic (sometimes literally) women over 40 come into the Good Earth and get into even more debt searching for the fountain of youth because they're trying to look good for their husbands who have porn addictions which we know affect huge portions of the population here in Utah but which no one ever admitts to. So many women, including my mom and Jon's, feel stuck in their marriage but don't feel like they can talk to any of their member friends about it because that would somehow reflect poorly on them. Three girls I've worked with now are treated well on a surface level among all their peers here, but no one will get close to any of them or even consider dating them because they are black.

But enough of that stuff.

To get back on track, Carol Lynn Pearson is a fascinating lady with an obvious talent for uplifting. There were a couple times in the book when she talked about auras and psychological healing and intense meditation and that was a little weird. You can be into that and be a perfectly wonderful Mormon, but maybe you should keep that to yourself? Maybe not. Whatever, I still love her.

While I'm a little bit on the subject of women's issues...

This book is ridiculously popular with women and we've got to find something more healthy for them to read. I started the book because my sisters all love it and I wondered what the deal was. Its sort of a step up from a romance novel. I'm only on page thirty something though and I'm already starting to feel like being fake, pessimism, not eating, and people who have no interest in me are cool. And that nice kids are all nerds. Crap! This is not an outlook we should be cultivating in young women!

On having a boyfriend:
It's really pretty nice. Granted, the guy I found is kind and considerate and my best friends like him so far and he's gorgeous. I'm sure not all gay relationships are this great. I feel like I'm in a good one.

We went out to eat one night and the waitress asked us jokingly if we were on a "man-date". "Yeah, actually we are." I replied. Jon nodded his head. That took her off guard, but also made her nicer to us the rest of the night.

I'm sort of in awe of Jon and feel lucky to have him around. I'm not sure how to describe this really well, but I just like seeing him and watching him react to things. When I see something I think is beautiful, I just feel like I could lose myself watching it and how lucky I am to be seeing it, and that's the effect Jon has on me.

Also, I'm proud to have him as a boyfriend. I like how he treats people and I like having him around.

Sometimes I am afraid, but its a sort of afraid I get about a lot of things (jobs, apartments, car insurance payments, etc.) The fear is that I'm stuck. That I'm tied down to something and I can't get out of it, even if it is something good in my life. A good friend advises me that this is normal. Its especially normal for me, so maybe I shouldn't worry about it so much?

The other day I wanted to quit both of my jobs, pack up my things, and drive to Mexico where I would live and get better at Spanish until I felt like coming back to America. I know that sounds absurd but I was on the brink of just doing it (still might). And then I remembered that I have a boyfriend and that wouldn't be fair to him. And then I got worried because even though our relationship is not overly serious at all, I feel obligated to him and what if that obligation hampers my ability to fulfil a lot of goals and dreams I have in life which might require leaving or being on my own? Is this crazy? I'm sure it is. I think things will work out though. I'm okay going with this whole boyfriend thing for now. I'll take it a step at a time and do the best I can at it. I shouldn't be so fickle about everything.

Quotes from my spaz niece, Kylie (4):
"Jesus is pretty happy right now that I'm helping you."
"Jasmine is immodest but she has nice hair."

Getting pretty tired of these jobs now, though pizza can still be fun. I have an interview to be a tour guide for Holland America this summer. I'm not sure if I want that or not. I actually have something besides an education to stay in Utah for right now.

Politics and Election 2008:
I really haven't written anything since Super Tuesday and so much has happened. I voted. I even made it on the front page of the Daily Herald with a Ron Paul sign at the intersection of State Street and University Parkway. My dad and I did some campaigning in our home precinct and I'm happy to report that Ron Paul did about twice as well (6%) there than he did statewide (3%). He also did much better in my sister's precinct, where I'm living right now (about 4.5%). Still, Utah County as a whole voted about 93% in favor of Mitt Romney, and Utah State followed suit with about 90% for Romney. These are pretty magnificent numbers that you almost never see in democracies outside of pre-war Iraq, China, The DPKR, or Iran.

Two quotes from one of my personal heroes, Sir Winston Churchill come to mind:
"Democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried." and "The strongest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter."

Now Romney is out of the race (officially) and I'm not really clear on what happens to all of Utah's delegates to the National Republican Convention. All I know is that I'm going to try to be one of them this year. The Republican Party is hacking off its last leg, and maybe I can at least be a part of shaping it for someday down the road when it gets redeemed. If not, I'll just be independent or even democrat again just to fight the status quo here in Utah.

I'm pretty confident that I'll ultimately be voting for Obama at any rate. At least he's not duplicitous and he makes people feel good. And he's black. And another of my personal heroes, Oprah Winfrey, endorses him, so that really seals the deal right there. As goes Oprah, so goes the nation. And that can't be so bad...can it?

Saturday, February 09, 2008

I never thought I would like Dolly Parton...

but it turns out, I love her. I'm planning my trip to Dollywood. Just so you all know, this video has a few clips from the Transamerica soundtrack, so if you're not comfortable with that, you probably shouldn't watch. This is the most wonderful song though...

I've got lots of thoughts on life and politics and things, and I'll talk about those later.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


Only a few hours left...Make sure to vote today.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

A break from political videos. Jesse & Joy - Espacio Sideral

This is my favorite song right now, in English or Spanish. The music video is kinda crazy, but whatever.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

This is kinda how I feel about it too.

(Don't worry, the blog will get less political in time. But for now, more saturation to come.)