Robbie and Evan helped me slap this together last night and Robbie insisted that I post it here.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Donut and Denmark.
Its past 2 AM and I just went to 7-eleven for a donut. Cake. Pink Frosting. Sprinkles.
And I was thinking that I'd like to go to Denmark. Maybe if I get really good grades in school this year I'll reward myself with a trip to Denmark in the summer. And Germany, to visit my little brother.
And I was thinking that I'd like to go to Denmark. Maybe if I get really good grades in school this year I'll reward myself with a trip to Denmark in the summer. And Germany, to visit my little brother.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Just some things.
In-N-Out Burger will be in St. George, Utah next week! I used to work there in California! Trips to Vegas are going to be a lot less necessary now.
I watched Waitress again the other night with Robbie and "Potentate". Man, I love that movie. I get a little emotional watching it, even.
"I was addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone." - Jenna
*sigh*
There is this song that I heard on the radio the other day. The lyrics go something like this "Girl you gotta know, every time you go, out the door, that its not alright" I looked up the lyrics on google and elsewhere but can't seem to find the right song. Anybody know who sings it?
I took my nieces to hike the Y (my second day hiking the Y in a row) and they made it the whole way! Granted, we stopped at 8 of the 11 trail posts on the way AND I bribed them with a surprise treat at the end if they finished (bagged cotton candy, but regardless, that's pretty hardcore for a 4 and a half and 7 year old! I remember taking my little brother up there for the first time and I'm not sure who did better...The view was really hazey that day because of dust or pollution or something, but it was still decent and my oldest niece even wants to go again and asked if she could invite friends next time. I'm so proud. I hope I have instilled in them a love of hiking to see wonderful, bigger pictures.
Everyday this week I have been looking at pricing on cruiser motorcycles and even some scooters. I think that will be my next major purchase in life.
I cut my hair after seeing some recent pictures of myself. I now have sort of a mini mohawk thing that goes all the way down the back of my head and i'm diggin' it. I got it the morning before meeting with my local Republican state senator....but I wasn't thinking about the meeting that morning. When I realized what I had done, I was concerned for about 3 minutes. But then I just wasn't anymore. The meeting went well. More of a presentation really. My local state senator is actually pretty decent in my opinion. More political involvement to come.
Ron Paul will be in Caldwell, Idaho on the 25th of April before the Idaho Republican caucuses! I may just head on up to Idaho to see him speak. The thing is, the Utah County Republican convention is on the 26th early in the morning and I have to go to that. I'm not sure if its worth being dead tired at the convention the next morning...but it might just be...
I've been pretty busy lately, but I have this nagging feeling that I want to get into something totally mindless. Like nintendo or computer games or comics books or Lord of the Rings or Magic the Gathering. Actually, scratch Magic the Gathering. But I sort of miss the feeling of getting totally lost in a world not my own. Robbie and I are even thinking of going to Comicon in San Diego this summer. Comicon is basically the largest gathering of sci-fi/fantasy/comic book/whatever nerds on the planet. They're having the writers of Lost come this year, so that might be cool to see.
I'm so excited for school to start! And my job is tolerable and I kinda like it sometimes! I think this will be a good year.
I watched Waitress again the other night with Robbie and "Potentate". Man, I love that movie. I get a little emotional watching it, even.
"I was addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone." - Jenna
*sigh*
There is this song that I heard on the radio the other day. The lyrics go something like this "Girl you gotta know, every time you go, out the door, that its not alright" I looked up the lyrics on google and elsewhere but can't seem to find the right song. Anybody know who sings it?
I took my nieces to hike the Y (my second day hiking the Y in a row) and they made it the whole way! Granted, we stopped at 8 of the 11 trail posts on the way AND I bribed them with a surprise treat at the end if they finished (bagged cotton candy, but regardless, that's pretty hardcore for a 4 and a half and 7 year old! I remember taking my little brother up there for the first time and I'm not sure who did better...The view was really hazey that day because of dust or pollution or something, but it was still decent and my oldest niece even wants to go again and asked if she could invite friends next time. I'm so proud. I hope I have instilled in them a love of hiking to see wonderful, bigger pictures.
Everyday this week I have been looking at pricing on cruiser motorcycles and even some scooters. I think that will be my next major purchase in life.
I cut my hair after seeing some recent pictures of myself. I now have sort of a mini mohawk thing that goes all the way down the back of my head and i'm diggin' it. I got it the morning before meeting with my local Republican state senator....but I wasn't thinking about the meeting that morning. When I realized what I had done, I was concerned for about 3 minutes. But then I just wasn't anymore. The meeting went well. More of a presentation really. My local state senator is actually pretty decent in my opinion. More political involvement to come.
Ron Paul will be in Caldwell, Idaho on the 25th of April before the Idaho Republican caucuses! I may just head on up to Idaho to see him speak. The thing is, the Utah County Republican convention is on the 26th early in the morning and I have to go to that. I'm not sure if its worth being dead tired at the convention the next morning...but it might just be...
I've been pretty busy lately, but I have this nagging feeling that I want to get into something totally mindless. Like nintendo or computer games or comics books or Lord of the Rings or Magic the Gathering. Actually, scratch Magic the Gathering. But I sort of miss the feeling of getting totally lost in a world not my own. Robbie and I are even thinking of going to Comicon in San Diego this summer. Comicon is basically the largest gathering of sci-fi/fantasy/comic book/whatever nerds on the planet. They're having the writers of Lost come this year, so that might be cool to see.
I'm so excited for school to start! And my job is tolerable and I kinda like it sometimes! I think this will be a good year.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Thoughts on a closed chapter in Pinetree's very short love life.
Things could have worked with Jon. We were both pretty commited to our relationship. It could have lasted for a long time. We hit a plateua and in my mind it came down to three options:
One, we could keep on going out the way we were; one of use travels 56 miles or we meet inbetween, we go out and do something together or with friends, and then we go back home again.
Two, I could drop everything and move closer to (or even in with) Jon and find work and school up there. We could see how things work when we're in each others' lives day to day.
Or Three, we could call it a good run and break it off altogether.
Staying the way we were was getting time consuming, stressful and expensive.
I thought about moving closer, but really I just don't want to. And it's not that I don't do things like that on a whim ever, because I do. Moving would just put a lot of other people and priorities in my life on the back burner. And, perhaps the fact that I don't feel the desire to get up and go highlights more foundational issues with our relationship.
There was a lot that really could have been better. We don't share tons of interests really. For instance, he is huge on cars. He watches car shows on tv, works for a car company, dreams of owning many luxury cars someday...I don't know the first thing about them except that I like the look of old BMW's so I bought one. And I'd like a motorcycle, but other than that I could really care less. I like politics. He knows he is a democrat from a family of democrats, but really doesn't care for it as much as I do. I like trying new foods, he likes to stick with what is good and familiar. My sense of security comes from being as free as possible from all entanglements; school, work, debt, property, etc (there are good sides and downsides to this...maybe a whole other post on this later.) His sense of security comes from having a steady job and schedule and being able to have the good things in life that he wants. I like playing regular sports for fun, he likes the less conventional ones like skiing and golf and he wants to get into scuba diving. I like to read, he doesn't. He likes all Pixar/Dreamworks animated films, I'm more choosey about my kids movies.
Our upbringings were completely different. I grew up in a fairly diverse urban area in a small apartment with five other kids at least two states away from our nearest relatives in Utah. He grew up in a house in a pretty well off family in a small rural Mormon town where most of his extended family lives on the same couple of blocks. His aunt and uncle live next door, grandma in the next house. Our family dynamics are very different. My family feels like a collection of very different people who stick together because they are a family. His family is sort of like a unit where individual members feel like they have to break out on their own from time to time. If that makes any sense...
I don't feel like we connect on a basic level as well as I do with other friends.
Regardless, Jon is kind and funny and hard working and adorable. It was all workable, but does that make it right? I don't really think so. Based on my very limited experience, I think one can make something work with a lot of different people if one chooses to do so, but it might not be the best idea to just stick with the first one who does, especially when one is 21 years old and has a lot of other things he needs to get done in life....like getting through school.
Obvioiusly we broke it off. I don't think there will be any problem with remaining friends. I'm okay about the whole thing and I'm pretty sure he is too. He is going to try to date other people. I don't think I'm going to. We'll see.
The last four months were the only real legitimate relationship I've ever had and they were good months for the most part. I feel like I can say I know what it feels like to date a guy and work at it, and that's a good thing.
I also, oddly enough, feel like it wouldn't be as huge of a stretch to date a girl now, either. Being attracted sexually to someone is huge, but it's importance dwindles in time and you fall in love with everything else about a person. I've always known this, but it's hard to date a girl or even consider it when I'm wondering what it would be like to date a guy I'm attracted to instead. Well, now I know. And aside from the beginning parts, I'm not sure it's a hell of a lot different, as controversial as that is.
I think I will hold off on dating anyone for a long time. But it's a thought. I feel like I can make a much more valid judgement on that sort of thing now.
Man, there is a lot I could say...but I'm going to wrap this up.
But before I do, I should probably add this: I don't think that gay relationships are any less valid or meaningful than straight ones. It's really about what you choose for yourself, and when your decisions aren't hurting you or anyone else, they should be respected and even supported. If I know you, you're my friend, and you choose to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex, I will have your back. If I ever have kids or a family, you'll be welcome there. My spouse and/or kids won't ever think to look down on you for it, regardless of what my own family ends up looking like.
A new friend of mine has a quote on her facebook page that says "God belongs to everyone." I like that a lot. And I believe it.
One, we could keep on going out the way we were; one of use travels 56 miles or we meet inbetween, we go out and do something together or with friends, and then we go back home again.
Two, I could drop everything and move closer to (or even in with) Jon and find work and school up there. We could see how things work when we're in each others' lives day to day.
Or Three, we could call it a good run and break it off altogether.
Staying the way we were was getting time consuming, stressful and expensive.
I thought about moving closer, but really I just don't want to. And it's not that I don't do things like that on a whim ever, because I do. Moving would just put a lot of other people and priorities in my life on the back burner. And, perhaps the fact that I don't feel the desire to get up and go highlights more foundational issues with our relationship.
There was a lot that really could have been better. We don't share tons of interests really. For instance, he is huge on cars. He watches car shows on tv, works for a car company, dreams of owning many luxury cars someday...I don't know the first thing about them except that I like the look of old BMW's so I bought one. And I'd like a motorcycle, but other than that I could really care less. I like politics. He knows he is a democrat from a family of democrats, but really doesn't care for it as much as I do. I like trying new foods, he likes to stick with what is good and familiar. My sense of security comes from being as free as possible from all entanglements; school, work, debt, property, etc (there are good sides and downsides to this...maybe a whole other post on this later.) His sense of security comes from having a steady job and schedule and being able to have the good things in life that he wants. I like playing regular sports for fun, he likes the less conventional ones like skiing and golf and he wants to get into scuba diving. I like to read, he doesn't. He likes all Pixar/Dreamworks animated films, I'm more choosey about my kids movies.
Our upbringings were completely different. I grew up in a fairly diverse urban area in a small apartment with five other kids at least two states away from our nearest relatives in Utah. He grew up in a house in a pretty well off family in a small rural Mormon town where most of his extended family lives on the same couple of blocks. His aunt and uncle live next door, grandma in the next house. Our family dynamics are very different. My family feels like a collection of very different people who stick together because they are a family. His family is sort of like a unit where individual members feel like they have to break out on their own from time to time. If that makes any sense...
I don't feel like we connect on a basic level as well as I do with other friends.
Regardless, Jon is kind and funny and hard working and adorable. It was all workable, but does that make it right? I don't really think so. Based on my very limited experience, I think one can make something work with a lot of different people if one chooses to do so, but it might not be the best idea to just stick with the first one who does, especially when one is 21 years old and has a lot of other things he needs to get done in life....like getting through school.
Obvioiusly we broke it off. I don't think there will be any problem with remaining friends. I'm okay about the whole thing and I'm pretty sure he is too. He is going to try to date other people. I don't think I'm going to. We'll see.
The last four months were the only real legitimate relationship I've ever had and they were good months for the most part. I feel like I can say I know what it feels like to date a guy and work at it, and that's a good thing.
I also, oddly enough, feel like it wouldn't be as huge of a stretch to date a girl now, either. Being attracted sexually to someone is huge, but it's importance dwindles in time and you fall in love with everything else about a person. I've always known this, but it's hard to date a girl or even consider it when I'm wondering what it would be like to date a guy I'm attracted to instead. Well, now I know. And aside from the beginning parts, I'm not sure it's a hell of a lot different, as controversial as that is.
I think I will hold off on dating anyone for a long time. But it's a thought. I feel like I can make a much more valid judgement on that sort of thing now.
Man, there is a lot I could say...but I'm going to wrap this up.
But before I do, I should probably add this: I don't think that gay relationships are any less valid or meaningful than straight ones. It's really about what you choose for yourself, and when your decisions aren't hurting you or anyone else, they should be respected and even supported. If I know you, you're my friend, and you choose to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex, I will have your back. If I ever have kids or a family, you'll be welcome there. My spouse and/or kids won't ever think to look down on you for it, regardless of what my own family ends up looking like.
A new friend of mine has a quote on her facebook page that says "God belongs to everyone." I like that a lot. And I believe it.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Happy and Annoyed. But mostly happy, really.
HAPPY:
I fixed my car myself for a dollar a couple of days ago!
ANNOYED:
I had to fix my car because when I idled at stoplights or wherever, the "check engine" light would come on and it smelled like gasoline. I took it to a mechanic and he wanted to charge me $125 to replace the fuel pump regulator; $50-something for the new part and $75 for an hour's labor. So I looked down at where he told me the fuel pump regulator is and saw that there was a small plastic hose that wasn't connected on one end. I tried to reattach it but it was too small. Looked like it had shrunk. I went in to the parts section of the mechanic and asked a different guy if I could buy a new hose of that size. I bought a small piece of rubber hose to replace the old plastic one. My car's "check engine" light no longer comes on, nor does it smell like gasoline. I spent about a dollar and a minute fixing my car once the problem was pointed out to me, and this schmuck wanted to charge me $125 for it. Jerk.
HAPPY:
After a few weeks of consistently hitting the gym (pretty hard I might add) and eating healthy I had my body fat percentage tested and it was 6%!
ANNOYED:
I still don't have a six-pack. I have a nice line between abs one and two and a "kinda"-line between abs three and four if I flex my stomach really hard, but still a gut at the bottom. I thought the results of the body fat calculator thing MUST be wrong because I've read in several books that one should normally be able to see a six-pack at somewhere between 12 and 7 percent body fat. I took the test repeatedly and got the same results, within about .5 percentage points. Ridiculous. My body just does not do this six-pack thing...and yet I keep trying. I did eat a whole lot of junk this weekend just out of spite. Back at it next week though.
HAPPY:
The family was all over for conference today. :)
ANNOYED:
I was planning on going to priesthood session with my brother in law. I changed downstairs and came upstairs around 5:40 to find that he had left already. He was making a big fuss over getting "one of the soft seats this time." I guess he just figured I could meet him there. Whatever. So I drove over to our normal church building only to find no one around. Apparently they were only broadcasting at the stake center. I just don't know where our stake center is. I probably could have found out, but at that point I was so irrationally ticked off that I just skipped out on it for the first time since I was 12.
HAPPY:
I went to the gym after that. Then I got invited over to eat dinner by a friend.
ANNOYED:
I'm not sure where this friend lives or if he was even having dinner at his own house. I texted him twice to ask and got nothing. What the hell!? People are such flakes...
I know I shouldn't complain because I do flakey, stupid, careless things all the time. And because it annoys me when people complain a lot because someone flakes out on them. That's life. Buck up and get over it. Find something else to do with your time, right? Right. Its just extra annoying to me tonight for some reason and I want to to be a hermit-bum in Mexico right now...
Okay, really that's not completely true and life isn't bad at all to me right now. In fact, if we compared it with all of the other lives on the planet right now, my circumstances in life are likely somewhere in the top one percent. At least top five percent. Even if you really stretch out every issue and worry in my life AND I'm having a horrible day, I'm still probably somewhere well in the top ten percent. Those annoying things above were really about the worst I could come up with for all of you tonight and even they were all coupled with happy things.
And there are lots more happy things. I feel a lot better because I've been exercising and taking care of myself lately. I got elected to a very small political office - though I'll save stories on that for a later date when a little more political dust has settled. I'm working on getting back into school in the summer and I'm really excited about it this time. My brother is going to get married. My niece April is walking and she is adorable. She says words, but mostly just "hi" all the time. My room smells like the fresh linens scent candle on my desk. My dad and I had a good talk the other night about the gospel and ambiguities in life. I'm broke, but I get by just fine and I'm happy with what I have. Life is good - there's just enough conflict peppering it to taste.
I fixed my car myself for a dollar a couple of days ago!
ANNOYED:
I had to fix my car because when I idled at stoplights or wherever, the "check engine" light would come on and it smelled like gasoline. I took it to a mechanic and he wanted to charge me $125 to replace the fuel pump regulator; $50-something for the new part and $75 for an hour's labor. So I looked down at where he told me the fuel pump regulator is and saw that there was a small plastic hose that wasn't connected on one end. I tried to reattach it but it was too small. Looked like it had shrunk. I went in to the parts section of the mechanic and asked a different guy if I could buy a new hose of that size. I bought a small piece of rubber hose to replace the old plastic one. My car's "check engine" light no longer comes on, nor does it smell like gasoline. I spent about a dollar and a minute fixing my car once the problem was pointed out to me, and this schmuck wanted to charge me $125 for it. Jerk.
HAPPY:
After a few weeks of consistently hitting the gym (pretty hard I might add) and eating healthy I had my body fat percentage tested and it was 6%!
ANNOYED:
I still don't have a six-pack. I have a nice line between abs one and two and a "kinda"-line between abs three and four if I flex my stomach really hard, but still a gut at the bottom. I thought the results of the body fat calculator thing MUST be wrong because I've read in several books that one should normally be able to see a six-pack at somewhere between 12 and 7 percent body fat. I took the test repeatedly and got the same results, within about .5 percentage points. Ridiculous. My body just does not do this six-pack thing...and yet I keep trying. I did eat a whole lot of junk this weekend just out of spite. Back at it next week though.
HAPPY:
The family was all over for conference today. :)
ANNOYED:
I was planning on going to priesthood session with my brother in law. I changed downstairs and came upstairs around 5:40 to find that he had left already. He was making a big fuss over getting "one of the soft seats this time." I guess he just figured I could meet him there. Whatever. So I drove over to our normal church building only to find no one around. Apparently they were only broadcasting at the stake center. I just don't know where our stake center is. I probably could have found out, but at that point I was so irrationally ticked off that I just skipped out on it for the first time since I was 12.
HAPPY:
I went to the gym after that. Then I got invited over to eat dinner by a friend.
ANNOYED:
I'm not sure where this friend lives or if he was even having dinner at his own house. I texted him twice to ask and got nothing. What the hell!? People are such flakes...
I know I shouldn't complain because I do flakey, stupid, careless things all the time. And because it annoys me when people complain a lot because someone flakes out on them. That's life. Buck up and get over it. Find something else to do with your time, right? Right. Its just extra annoying to me tonight for some reason and I want to to be a hermit-bum in Mexico right now...
Okay, really that's not completely true and life isn't bad at all to me right now. In fact, if we compared it with all of the other lives on the planet right now, my circumstances in life are likely somewhere in the top one percent. At least top five percent. Even if you really stretch out every issue and worry in my life AND I'm having a horrible day, I'm still probably somewhere well in the top ten percent. Those annoying things above were really about the worst I could come up with for all of you tonight and even they were all coupled with happy things.
And there are lots more happy things. I feel a lot better because I've been exercising and taking care of myself lately. I got elected to a very small political office - though I'll save stories on that for a later date when a little more political dust has settled. I'm working on getting back into school in the summer and I'm really excited about it this time. My brother is going to get married. My niece April is walking and she is adorable. She says words, but mostly just "hi" all the time. My room smells like the fresh linens scent candle on my desk. My dad and I had a good talk the other night about the gospel and ambiguities in life. I'm broke, but I get by just fine and I'm happy with what I have. Life is good - there's just enough conflict peppering it to taste.
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