1. No, don't feel bad now. The time for feeling sorry for yourself is over. Pick up the pieces of your soul, purge them in the hell that has been waiting for you, and get on with it.
2. Goodness shouldn't be some fantasy in your head. Prove yourself in the moment. Hiding behind your own glorified image of yourself and what you think your future should be will leave you afraid and pathetic to everyone but yourself and those trapped in the fantasy world you have created.
3. Quit tripping over the shortcomings of other people. Cursing them does you as much good as cursing a wet floor, marble, or crack in the sidewalk. They are small, insignificant, not worth your time...and you should have been looking out for them in the first place. Dust yourself off and keep walking. Whatever you do, don't get angry.
4. You are not as enigmatic as you think.