Friday, April 06, 2007

F the Police!

Police. Cops. The Filth. The Fuzz. The Popo. Sorry if any of you are related to police officers or anything like that, but I hate them. I realize the importance of law enforcement, but seriously, the filth around here just runs amuck making people's lives miserable over trivial infractions of the law. I make no distinction between the filth and university parking enforcement. In fact, UPE is worse than the filth. They really have nothing else to do but make your life hell for parking in the wrong spot for 3 minutes while you run in to grab your backpack or something. I've been booted in my own apartment complex (driving my brother in law's car) on Thanksgiving day. Every parking lot at my complex was empty. The whole street was vacant. It was my own apartment. There was one car sitting on the side of the street: my brother in law's...the car I was supposed to drive back to my parents' place for Thanksgiving. It wasn't like there was a crisis of parking space at University Villa either, or even that there wasn't ample, perfect, right-in-front-of-your-door parking for everyone else. But guess what? I got booted. Merciless pigs...

I especially hate the popo in small towns like Provo, or say...Pocatello, Idaho, where there is no real crime. This makes the popo feel justified in finding silly crimes to bust you for; like speeding on highways that are straight for a thousand miles with no other cars on them (got a ticket today on my way to BYU-Idaho to pick up my little brother) or crossing the damn double white lines that they just barely installed to get into the carpool lane on I-15, EVEN when you have other people in the car with you! (like with Smurf and I on the way to EG conference in September).

As an added frustration to the ticket I got today, I already have a citation from last month for driving Smurf's car so that I could take Rascal to work because he was late. Unfortunately, Smurf's car has an outdated registration sticker on the back. So of course the fuzz finds me and has to charge me money for it. What the hell! Who really cares...

I'm going to have to start a fund of money I can just have on hand to constantly keep the filth off my back. At any given time, I'll just have to have $300 or so of pig hush money to pay to the local courts to keep them quiet. Honestly all this makes me want to do is start some organized crime in Provo so the popo can get a taste of what its really like to try to enforce the law. One more ticket and I swear i'll turn in to the most badass criminal this state has ever seen. Then we'll see if the popo can really do its job.

I'm in Rexburg helping my little brother move. He is tired and taking a nap right now, so I figured I would vent some of my frustration. I'm really pissed off at the police.

3 comments:

drex said...

Sad. Salad got a citation for a broken headlight this morning around 2:00AM as we were dropping off a friend. At least the guy was cordial, but we were pretty miffed that he was keeping us out of our beds (or in my case out of the blogosphere :P).

salad said...

oh, but the part drex forgot to mention was that earlier this week i got a tick for speeding on a blind hill where i was clearly breaking and just following the flow of traffic. i will fully admit that i was speeding, but honestly, i really was just following the flow of traffic. freaking cops

Vero Awesome said...

Oh Pine! I giggled like a delighted piglet when I read this. (The real kind, not of the law enforcement variety) Somehow, you always make me smile. Please please PLEASE keep blogging while you're in Alaska.

PS - If you want, you can join me in my latest hobby: UPE Evasion Ninjaness. So far, I've parked in 30 minute a total of 14 times without getting caught (all well over the 30 minute limit) and HERE's a special little trick (taught to me by a former UPE) that REALLY pisses them off. Go park in timed (15 or 30 min) parking, wait until like 29 mins pass, and then go TURN YOUR CAR AROUND and park it in the EXACT same spot. (Facing a different direction) You can literally do this ALL day, and they can't do squat, because they know the car has changed directions. It's GOLDEN.