Monday, October 02, 2006


Everyone who sees this today, October Oprah tonight, whenever it comes on. I think 12:20 or 12:30 at night on channel 2 in Utah. I dunno elsewhere. Samantha, you might be especially interested in this one.
Then you should all tell me what you think. This stuff makes me think and think and think. And go nuts. Watch it.


Samantha said...

"Everyone who sees this today, October 7th..."

Have you been holding out on us??? Where is your time machine...

I promise to watch on October 7th.

Samantha said...

Okay--I'm not going to get the show, so I read the transcript/summary. What can I say? (by the way--this is going to be a VERY long) The consulting therapist listed three options to the wives--1. Stay in the marriage and be unhappy.
2. Stay in the marriage and carry on an affair.
3. Let both spouses go and live in truth.

But you've met me--and you've met I seem unhappy? does he? and I promise--I'm carrying on not why would I let go the beautiful marriage and relationship I've worked so hard to build--and anyone who says marriage shouldn't have to be work is divorced.

I believe, once again, that I'm an anomaly among the representative group of lesbians on the show--because I fully acknowledged my feelings before marriage. I knew I would have many challenges to work through--perhaps on a daily basis. I also knew that I believed in the scriptures that said a male/female eternal relationship was essential for my salvation--and I wanted that.

I have had opportunity, recently, to defend my decision (and, yes, I was feeling quite defensive as I did so). It was insinuated that my marriage was unnatural--unromantic--wrong. My reply:

I think it's incredibly romantic that my husband would want me, knowing I've been abused beyond what's thinkable, knowing I'd probably never be able to think of sex in a normal connotation, knowing that every beautiful woman might make me want to be with her.

I think it's incredibly romantic that he would be willing to work through any physical barrier, talk about any intimate subject, allow me to have any feeling, and still think I'm beautiful and desirable.

I think it's incredibly romantic that he has stayed with me no matter what, and that now, there are times when I find myself attracted to him physically because he loves me with all his heart and soul--and I love him back.

I think sex can be beautiful when it is employed to show deep love, and the love my husband has for me is deeper than any I can imagine, as is mine for him. Someday, I hope everyone can experience that--but I'm not sure it exists outside mixed-orientation marriages, because we have worked toward deepening our love, and making sure understanding has been employed every step of the way. That is rarely present in conventional marriages. They are really missing out.

I know I've said more than my share--but this is a subject of great importance to me, one close to my heart. I will defend my marriage for the rest of my life, for in it I have found courage, truth, and authenticity, beyond that which I ever imagined. I continue to grow beyond my natural inclinations daily, and the person who stands next to me in every circumstance, in spite of my deficits, and remains in love with me, deserves all the credit.

AttemptingthePath said...

i hated the fact she said mixed orientation marriages are miserable, you should either jsut have an affair or get a divorce.

Thank goodness oprah doesn't have all the answers.

Elbow said...

I saw it. I'm a little swayed in the direction of leaving my wife behind to have a male partner...not that I'm going to, but it just looked so simple that if you're gay you should be in a gay relationship. Sigh...

Kengo Biddles said...

It absolutely devastated my Wifey as she said, "Are we the only ones that it's working for?" She kept watching, hoping, praying that it wouldn't be an outright plug for the Homosexual Agenda. Yes, I said it because there are people who push it out there.

Darrin said...

uh...YEAH. What Samatha said! So there. Take that, Oprah!