Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Stoked!
I got hired by Grayline of Alaska!!!!
I got a phone call last week and had an interview this morning with this sweet lady named Lorell. She is going to be my boss this summer. She's really sweet, the kind of person who is just everyone's mom, but also a no-bullcrap kind of person and I like her.
Here are all the details of the job as far as I know:
I'm going to be doing dishes and helping the cooks on the train for the first couple months. Yeah, that might not sound like a glamorous position, but I think I'm actually going to love it and it will be a welcome change from serving for a while. I've been thinking lately that I need a job where I can just work and not have to talk to people or be "on" all the time. Also I've been seriously thinking about culinary school lately, and I'll be working with a bunch of kids from all over the country who are culinary students back in the kitchen, so it'll be good experience to have for making that decision. As soon as I turn 21 (July 20) I will become a waiter on the train. By that time I'll probly feel like being social again.
The train, the McKinley Explorer, travels between Anchorage and Fairbanks, Alaska. It's about a 400 mile trip. Between these two cities is Mt. McKinley and Denali National Park. Shifts come every two days. It's two days on and two days off. So on the days I'm off I'm free to explore whatever, go hiking or mountain biking or rafting or just chill in the city.
On the days I work, I'll be working 12 to 14 hours with overtime pay every day. Also as a waiter I don't just make 2.15 an hour plus tips like here in Utah, I get 7.15 to start out with as well as overtime (over ten bucks an hour plus tips!) Also I get free food. Really really good free food.
On my days off I'll be living in an apartment in Anchorage, which I am yet to pick out. Most people just rent a single bedroom apartment with like 4 to 6 other guys and end up paying 75 to 200 bucks in rent every month depending on what you get and how many people. No one really lives in their apartments though, they just sleep there. I don't think I'll be at home much anyways.
The people I will be working with are recruited from all over the country. She said they have a few people from Utah every year and they like us because we don't drink or do too much bad stuff. Then she warned me and said some of the people they hire can be pretty crazy on their offtime. Perfect :)
I'm leaving sometime in May and coming back sometime in September. This is good because I'll be around for when my newest niece is born in April.
Holy crap, this is going to be so awesome! It's going to be a ton of hard work, but I can handle that. It's also going to be way fun and I'm going to get to see some incredible things. I think I'm going to be excited about it this whole week. I can't wait. I wish I could take off right now.
I think I'm going to get myself a laptop before I leave...I need to start checking out apartments in Anchorage.
Pinetree is stoked.
Other stuff that has been happening:
•I got to work late this morning on account of the interview, so Brown Sugar had to do all my opening work. Oops. She was pissed at me and even held out all her treats on me, which is a really miserable thing if you have ever tasted Brown Sugar's cooking. It's insanely good.
•This Thursday I'm headed to southern Utah with my old seminary teacher (I need to think of a blogger name for him...I think he'll come up more) to visit all the national parks in the area. I want to get all the use I can out of my national parks pass before it expires. My old seminary teacher is a photography/film guru and he is going to show me how to take cool pictures. Also he is a cool guy and a genius and knows how to travel and what to see. I'm super excited for our trip.
•Wiggle has left us for New Mexico. We went out to Thai food to mourn her passing. Thai food is delicious! Wiggle will be missed, but I think this will be a good opportunity for her to start fresh with everything and have a good time.
•Last night I had my whole ward over to my tiny apartment living room for munch and mingle, which is now sort of my calling within the activities committee. We had cereal, and it turned out pretty well, although I have to admitt I sort of hid in my room for a lot of it. This gave me the opportunity to talk online with Linds who is a super cool lesbian chick who happens to also like The Perks of Being a Wallflower, children, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, rain and singing in the car. She's also NOT a bulldyke. I was ready to ask her to marry me, but I don't think she was having it, so no go on that. Bummer. Finding a lesbian to marry for strictly functional, platonic relationship purposes is harder than one might imagine...
Ok, I have to go back to work now because otherwise I think Brown Sugar is going to cut me. Peace out everybody, I hope you all are also having great days out there.
P.S.
Favorite Hip Hop/R&B of the moment:
Wyclef - Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Yelé (Robb, you're going to have to tell me what they are saying in this one if you can understand Haitian)
Tupac - Thugz Mansion, Runnin' (Dyin to Live)
Sunday, January 14, 2007
New Years Resolutions 2007
1. Read scriptures every day, even if I do something ridiculous and horrible and don't feel quite like I'm actually living my religion. So far this is going pretty well.
2. Get ripped with a six-pack... before my older brother. I'm hitting the gym 3 times a week and maybe I'll keep running on the days between if it doesn't inhibit growing muscles. So far this is also going pretty well.
3. Find a profession or some sort of calling for my life. I want it to follow the following criteria:
•Provide for a family or potential family. A large one with tons of kids.
•Allow me to help the downtrodden and be a direct influence for good.
•Allow me to travel at least 2 or 3 times a year, whether for business or pleasure or otherwise. Preferably with a family.
•Be ethical, productive, and in line with the gospel. None of this selling alarm systems crap or shady real estate deals or Tahitian Noni juice or Mormon pyramid schemes or tricking the poor into buying things they don't need. I'll have none of that and can't stand it anyways.
•Allow me the opportunity to grow and progress
•No more than 40 hours a week if I have a family. Otherwise more hours will be fine.
•More to come on this as I think about it.
I've been thinking about culinary school and maybe a major in business lately.
4. Date some girls. Maybe even hold hands or something drastic like that...Any takers?
5. When I turn 21, send in auditions for The Amazing Race, Road Rules, Oprah's new reality TV show, or other cool reality television. By that time I should have a six-pack AND I can work the whole token gay/mormon/redhead thing which you'd think could land me a spot on anything.
6. Read the following books, finally:
The Chronicles of Narnia (I'm part way through the Magician's Nephew right now)
Les Miserables
The Count of Monte Cristo (Smurf got this for me for Christmas the first year I knew him, and I still need to read it!)
The Other Eminent Men of Wilford Woodruff
7. Try to go on a mission again even though it seems like this is getting ridiculous? I would still love to go, but if I don't it's okay. The resolution is to just try again.
Other less important things I would like to do this year but won't kill myself over if I don't achieve:
•Learn to play guitar, piano, or violin. Also learn to read music and sing.
•Travel to a continent I've never been to before. And maybe even travel around the ones I've already been in.
•Learn French and German and either Mandarin or Japanese.
•Run another marathon or a few.
I'll stop there. If I can get all of these things done, I will be a happy pinetree.
2. Get ripped with a six-pack... before my older brother. I'm hitting the gym 3 times a week and maybe I'll keep running on the days between if it doesn't inhibit growing muscles. So far this is also going pretty well.
3. Find a profession or some sort of calling for my life. I want it to follow the following criteria:
•Provide for a family or potential family. A large one with tons of kids.
•Allow me to help the downtrodden and be a direct influence for good.
•Allow me to travel at least 2 or 3 times a year, whether for business or pleasure or otherwise. Preferably with a family.
•Be ethical, productive, and in line with the gospel. None of this selling alarm systems crap or shady real estate deals or Tahitian Noni juice or Mormon pyramid schemes or tricking the poor into buying things they don't need. I'll have none of that and can't stand it anyways.
•Allow me the opportunity to grow and progress
•No more than 40 hours a week if I have a family. Otherwise more hours will be fine.
•More to come on this as I think about it.
I've been thinking about culinary school and maybe a major in business lately.
4. Date some girls. Maybe even hold hands or something drastic like that...Any takers?
5. When I turn 21, send in auditions for The Amazing Race, Road Rules, Oprah's new reality TV show, or other cool reality television. By that time I should have a six-pack AND I can work the whole token gay/mormon/redhead thing which you'd think could land me a spot on anything.
6. Read the following books, finally:
The Chronicles of Narnia (I'm part way through the Magician's Nephew right now)
Les Miserables
The Count of Monte Cristo (Smurf got this for me for Christmas the first year I knew him, and I still need to read it!)
The Other Eminent Men of Wilford Woodruff
7. Try to go on a mission again even though it seems like this is getting ridiculous? I would still love to go, but if I don't it's okay. The resolution is to just try again.
Other less important things I would like to do this year but won't kill myself over if I don't achieve:
•Learn to play guitar, piano, or violin. Also learn to read music and sing.
•Travel to a continent I've never been to before. And maybe even travel around the ones I've already been in.
•Learn French and German and either Mandarin or Japanese.
•Run another marathon or a few.
I'll stop there. If I can get all of these things done, I will be a happy pinetree.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Gingerheads. And Hook.
All About Red Hair. Who knew?
I love the movie Hook. I forgot how much I love that movie until it was on TV the other night and I sat down and watched it all. Its really pretty deep and has tons of gospel and my life analogy in it. I love how Peter Pan only leaves Neverland so that he can be a dad and have kids so that they can have adventures too. This was actually the first movie I ever cried at. It was pretty embarrassing, really. It was like my 8th birthday party and all my friends and I were in the movie theater and I was eating a Snickers bar and then Tinkerbell came on the screen and took Peter Pan in his cradle off away to Neverland. And I started bawling because I knew he had to be Peter Pan and was too cool for the normal world but at the same time his parents would miss him and well...I'm not going to explain myself. It was a very complex emotion at the time. And I really never cry at movies, so go figure.
I love the movie Hook. I forgot how much I love that movie until it was on TV the other night and I sat down and watched it all. Its really pretty deep and has tons of gospel and my life analogy in it. I love how Peter Pan only leaves Neverland so that he can be a dad and have kids so that they can have adventures too. This was actually the first movie I ever cried at. It was pretty embarrassing, really. It was like my 8th birthday party and all my friends and I were in the movie theater and I was eating a Snickers bar and then Tinkerbell came on the screen and took Peter Pan in his cradle off away to Neverland. And I started bawling because I knew he had to be Peter Pan and was too cool for the normal world but at the same time his parents would miss him and well...I'm not going to explain myself. It was a very complex emotion at the time. And I really never cry at movies, so go figure.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Christmas and New Years, 2006/2007
On Christmas Eve we all drove over to my sister's place in Orem to hang out at night. We ate food and played games and stuff until late. My Uncle Paul's family came over with their cute little half-Venezuelan half white kids and they sung us Christmas carols. After we took turns reading various verses of the Christmas story (which my nieces played out with their little toy nativity scene) and had family prayer, most of the family got into bed. I got all dressed for church and ran off with Smurf and Rascal, to Carrot's house so that we could all go to midnight mass in Salt Lake. When we got to Carrot's place, she was on the phone with some old mission comp and still needed to do herself up, so Rascal and Smurf and I headed up to the Cathedral of the Madeline where Carrot was supposed to meet us later. We parked in some LDS chapel's parking lot and walked towards the cathedral. The cathedral bells were echoing throughout downtown Salt Lake and it felt really magical. Unfortunately, when we got to the cathedral, they shut the doors on us and on a whole bunch of real Catholics (including all these dressed up little Mexican families with their babies, it was really sad) who were a couple minutes too late! We decided God wished us to be Mormons.
Carrot came to pick us up and suggested we do the next best thing when the Catholic church shuts you out....become Anglican! So we went to St. Mark's, a charming (yet much smaller) Episcopelian church. Carrot said it is her favorite in Salt Lake. We made the end of the service, which was really beautiful. Smurf almost choked to death on the powder incense stuff that the priest was waving around, and that was pretty hilarious. Carrot pointed out the Tiffany windows inside the church and we looked around for a bit. I really loved the whole thing. I've decided that if I ever have kids, we are going to hit both LDS church wherever it lands on the week of Christmas as well as midnight mass on Christmas Eve. It's good to just take in and respect other people's culture and traditions. Also it's good to remember how much reverence other people have for God too, and that we don't corner the market on that.
I got home sometime around 3 AM and went to sleep for a couple of hour. Christmas was awesome this year. I have no idea why I got placed in the amazing, perfectly quirky and simply wonderful family that I got, but I did.
We all got up and checked out the loot Santa had brought us, showing it off from youngest to oldest:
Kylie (my youngest niece until April) with one of the first of about a million Ariel Mermaid/Disney Princess things she would end up getting. Their basement is like 2 feet deep in mermaid and princess stuff right now.
Krista with a book she got. She is amazingly smart and very sophisticated for her age
My sister Lyndee and some kind of girl bag thing.
Little (but actually pretty huge) brother Alex, with a tie pin. He sort of gets jipped this year for presents because he'll be going on his mission in the summer, so no one got him anything cool...just new white shirts and ties and church books.
Me with a pan. I guess I needed a pan. It's cool though because I got tons of really really cool stuff from my family as well. Like this incredible hiking backpack that my dad got me. I know its good if its from my dad because he makes an extensive research product out of anything he decides to buy to make sure he gets the very best one. Also my big brother got me a sweet hammock. My big brother never gets stuff I say I want, but always manages to pick out the coolest presents. This is the same brother that got me a longboard for my birthday. He has some really awesome taste. I'll definitely be using that hammock this summer.
My older brother, John. He got some movie passes in his stocking. A sidenote about John: I ended up telling him about my SSA issues a couple weeks ago on the way home from a family Christmas party at my cousin Marie's house. He was a lot cooler about it all than I had expected. We parked near my apartment complex and had a good long talk in his car. I always thought John would be the last sibling I would tell about all my issues, but it turns out he was the first. He's a good big brother. He told me about some of the issues he is dealing with that I didn't know about before. It's amazing how human everyone really is, and how we all deal with all this really heavy stuff but can still get together and have Christmas and open presents and be happy.
This is my big sister Lois pulling something out of her stocking. Lois is the sister I posted about once before. Sometimes I think I'm too black of a sheep for my family. If that's true, Lois is too perfectly white for the rest of us. She's amazing, and I love her.
My oldest sister, Amy. She is a mom and gets mom stuff a lot now...like napkin holders.
My brother in law, Jared. He gets dad stuff, like cords and wire in his stocking.
We got the rocking chair in the right side of this picture as a surprise for my mom for Christmas. She had been eyeing it for a long time, and every good Grandma needs a rocking chair. She loved it. Couldn't believe her eyes, in fact.
My dad and Kylie. :) We always say my dad is a turkey. I don't really know why, it means he's pesky or something, but he got this smore Christmas ornament (they are all the rage right now I guess) with a marshmallow that has a turkey tail on it. My big sister got a pregnant marshmallow ornament and my mom got a Grandma marshmallow with a big blue grandma hat. They had everyone sort of giggling. Yeah, sort of silly, but it was Christmas...and it was great.
Kylie helped a lot of people open their presents and stockings. She was a pro. Here she is helping my grandma. I look up to my grandma a lot. She has a lot of class and grace and quiet wisdom that she has very diligently earned. I got to know her a little better over the break. She kept asking me about how I was doing. I talked to her about getting horrible grades at BYU and how I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. She was very supportive about me going to Alaska and maybe just travelling around for a while. She said I was young and assured me everything would be okay and that I should figure things out while I'm not yet responsible for other people really. Also she was very concerned and interested in what I had to say and seems willing to be supportive of whatever I do. It's wonderful to have people like this in your life.
Fast Forward to New Years Eve:
Brown Sugar and Robb (a coworker at Los) and I went up to Salt Lake to party and ate at this really chic, cozy little "authentic" Japanese restaurant. They had little tables and tatami mats and real Japanese waitresses and everything. Awesome. I love finding little places like this. Note to self: I have got to wander around Salt Lake more.
ATP and El Veneno! I think El Veneno looks like a different ethnicity in every photo I see of him....
ATP taking pictures of stuff with his fancy camera.
Robb uses his napkin to go stealth ninja.
Brown Sugar is like, "you all are crazy..."
We go outside in freezing Salt Lake for the last 15 minutes or so of 2006. I'm getting pretty pumped at this point...
Fireworks...cool! And then midnight comes and...
Pinetree plants a giant smooch on Brown Sugar as well as this random girl who was looking for someone to kiss at midnight!!! She had asked us earlier if one of us would be her midnight kiss, but little did she realize who she was talking to...AtP and El Veneno just sort of looked around nervously and Robb was probably wondering why none of us were going for it. I surprised her big time at midnight with a giant kiss. We put on a good show for her friends who were going nuts. I tried to get pictures kissing both of them, but neither turned out. This is the best one we got, from ATP who was still shooting photos with his camera. I'm glad he caught this milestone achievement on his camera.
New Years 2006/2007
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This is me explaining what had just happened... Sorry I can't get the sound to work...
After the big scene in downtown, we headed to El Veneno's place where we watched some comedian guy on his computer, and then Brown Sugar, Robb and I headed back to Provo. It was a fun night.
It's the middle of the night right now on January 3rd. I meant to write some deeper stuff in addition to all my goofy pictures, but I'm too tired, so I'll have to postpone that for another day. Goodnight.
Carrot came to pick us up and suggested we do the next best thing when the Catholic church shuts you out....become Anglican! So we went to St. Mark's, a charming (yet much smaller) Episcopelian church. Carrot said it is her favorite in Salt Lake. We made the end of the service, which was really beautiful. Smurf almost choked to death on the powder incense stuff that the priest was waving around, and that was pretty hilarious. Carrot pointed out the Tiffany windows inside the church and we looked around for a bit. I really loved the whole thing. I've decided that if I ever have kids, we are going to hit both LDS church wherever it lands on the week of Christmas as well as midnight mass on Christmas Eve. It's good to just take in and respect other people's culture and traditions. Also it's good to remember how much reverence other people have for God too, and that we don't corner the market on that.
I got home sometime around 3 AM and went to sleep for a couple of hour. Christmas was awesome this year. I have no idea why I got placed in the amazing, perfectly quirky and simply wonderful family that I got, but I did.
We all got up and checked out the loot Santa had brought us, showing it off from youngest to oldest:
Kylie (my youngest niece until April) with one of the first of about a million Ariel Mermaid/Disney Princess things she would end up getting. Their basement is like 2 feet deep in mermaid and princess stuff right now.
Krista with a book she got. She is amazingly smart and very sophisticated for her age
My sister Lyndee and some kind of girl bag thing.
Little (but actually pretty huge) brother Alex, with a tie pin. He sort of gets jipped this year for presents because he'll be going on his mission in the summer, so no one got him anything cool...just new white shirts and ties and church books.
Me with a pan. I guess I needed a pan. It's cool though because I got tons of really really cool stuff from my family as well. Like this incredible hiking backpack that my dad got me. I know its good if its from my dad because he makes an extensive research product out of anything he decides to buy to make sure he gets the very best one. Also my big brother got me a sweet hammock. My big brother never gets stuff I say I want, but always manages to pick out the coolest presents. This is the same brother that got me a longboard for my birthday. He has some really awesome taste. I'll definitely be using that hammock this summer.
My older brother, John. He got some movie passes in his stocking. A sidenote about John: I ended up telling him about my SSA issues a couple weeks ago on the way home from a family Christmas party at my cousin Marie's house. He was a lot cooler about it all than I had expected. We parked near my apartment complex and had a good long talk in his car. I always thought John would be the last sibling I would tell about all my issues, but it turns out he was the first. He's a good big brother. He told me about some of the issues he is dealing with that I didn't know about before. It's amazing how human everyone really is, and how we all deal with all this really heavy stuff but can still get together and have Christmas and open presents and be happy.
This is my big sister Lois pulling something out of her stocking. Lois is the sister I posted about once before. Sometimes I think I'm too black of a sheep for my family. If that's true, Lois is too perfectly white for the rest of us. She's amazing, and I love her.
My oldest sister, Amy. She is a mom and gets mom stuff a lot now...like napkin holders.
My brother in law, Jared. He gets dad stuff, like cords and wire in his stocking.
We got the rocking chair in the right side of this picture as a surprise for my mom for Christmas. She had been eyeing it for a long time, and every good Grandma needs a rocking chair. She loved it. Couldn't believe her eyes, in fact.
My dad and Kylie. :) We always say my dad is a turkey. I don't really know why, it means he's pesky or something, but he got this smore Christmas ornament (they are all the rage right now I guess) with a marshmallow that has a turkey tail on it. My big sister got a pregnant marshmallow ornament and my mom got a Grandma marshmallow with a big blue grandma hat. They had everyone sort of giggling. Yeah, sort of silly, but it was Christmas...and it was great.
Kylie helped a lot of people open their presents and stockings. She was a pro. Here she is helping my grandma. I look up to my grandma a lot. She has a lot of class and grace and quiet wisdom that she has very diligently earned. I got to know her a little better over the break. She kept asking me about how I was doing. I talked to her about getting horrible grades at BYU and how I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. She was very supportive about me going to Alaska and maybe just travelling around for a while. She said I was young and assured me everything would be okay and that I should figure things out while I'm not yet responsible for other people really. Also she was very concerned and interested in what I had to say and seems willing to be supportive of whatever I do. It's wonderful to have people like this in your life.Fast Forward to New Years Eve:
Brown Sugar and Robb (a coworker at Los) and I went up to Salt Lake to party and ate at this really chic, cozy little "authentic" Japanese restaurant. They had little tables and tatami mats and real Japanese waitresses and everything. Awesome. I love finding little places like this. Note to self: I have got to wander around Salt Lake more.
ATP and El Veneno! I think El Veneno looks like a different ethnicity in every photo I see of him....
ATP taking pictures of stuff with his fancy camera.
Robb uses his napkin to go stealth ninja.
Brown Sugar is like, "you all are crazy..."
We go outside in freezing Salt Lake for the last 15 minutes or so of 2006. I'm getting pretty pumped at this point...
Fireworks...cool! And then midnight comes and...
Pinetree plants a giant smooch on Brown Sugar as well as this random girl who was looking for someone to kiss at midnight!!! She had asked us earlier if one of us would be her midnight kiss, but little did she realize who she was talking to...AtP and El Veneno just sort of looked around nervously and Robb was probably wondering why none of us were going for it. I surprised her big time at midnight with a giant kiss. We put on a good show for her friends who were going nuts. I tried to get pictures kissing both of them, but neither turned out. This is the best one we got, from ATP who was still shooting photos with his camera. I'm glad he caught this milestone achievement on his camera.New Years 2006/2007
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This is me explaining what had just happened... Sorry I can't get the sound to work...
After the big scene in downtown, we headed to El Veneno's place where we watched some comedian guy on his computer, and then Brown Sugar, Robb and I headed back to Provo. It was a fun night.
It's the middle of the night right now on January 3rd. I meant to write some deeper stuff in addition to all my goofy pictures, but I'm too tired, so I'll have to postpone that for another day. Goodnight.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas Eve Morning
It's been a long night and so far I haven't slept.
First I was the lead server all night, so I was at Los Hermanos until around 1 am
Next, Smurf and Evan and I had to go rescue Carrot from a bunch of lesbians in Ogden. So that was like at least 3 hours longer.
After we got Carrot back from the lesbians, we took her home and then went to the store to get stuff to make breakfast for Christmas Eve for a bunch of people at my place.
When we all got back to my place, I started cleaning up junk in my apartment and Evan and Smurf fell asleep on my couches reading some books they found on my shelf. (Fight Club and the Calvin and Hobbes Anthology respectively)
Now It's 7:15 am and I have about an hour and 45 minutes until people show up here for breakfast. I am extra tired, but in a good way. Christmas Eve is going to be a long day. I'm looking forward to it. Time to start making some pancakes.
First I was the lead server all night, so I was at Los Hermanos until around 1 am
Next, Smurf and Evan and I had to go rescue Carrot from a bunch of lesbians in Ogden. So that was like at least 3 hours longer.
After we got Carrot back from the lesbians, we took her home and then went to the store to get stuff to make breakfast for Christmas Eve for a bunch of people at my place.
When we all got back to my place, I started cleaning up junk in my apartment and Evan and Smurf fell asleep on my couches reading some books they found on my shelf. (Fight Club and the Calvin and Hobbes Anthology respectively)
Now It's 7:15 am and I have about an hour and 45 minutes until people show up here for breakfast. I am extra tired, but in a good way. Christmas Eve is going to be a long day. I'm looking forward to it. Time to start making some pancakes.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Wyclef - Perfect Gentleman
Carrot threw a slammin Christmas party last night, complete with tons of great food, (including a big bowl of cookie dough to just eat out of. Awesome.) ghetto music and dancing, tons of cool people (Carrot knows the coolest RM Sisters), and a Mexican theme. This is my favorite dance song for the week.
In stark contrast to Wyclef's song, I have to go to church now and talk about the song "O Holy Night" as part of the sacrament meeting Christmas program. O Holy Night is a cool song for life.
P.S. It snowed last night and now it is beautfiul outside. Its so bright that when I first looked out there it hurt my eyes.
Alright, I'm extending this post...
Today was so awesome! I woke up and got a little message written about O Holy Night to say at our ward Christmas program, and it went pretty well. This really cool, really pretty girl named Kate who is the chorister in our ward was in charge of the program and the music was really nice and church was good even though I sort of skipped out on Priesthood and Sunday School. But after reading ATP's latest post, I'm sort of glad I did.
I walked to and from church on campus today. Actually I walked everywhere today. It's so beautiful outside right now. This is the first winter that I have spent in Utah where it looks like the Christmas' you see in movies. Everything is brilliant white and the rooftops are all caked with snow and there is a soft glow from the yellow street lights on the snow on the ground and night comes early but its beautiful because the reflection on the white makes it still seem light out.
After church I went hometeaching to our two guy hometeachees and we had a really good lesson and talked for a while.
My roommate Ben and I are hometeaching companions. I seriously love this kid, he is one of the coolest roommates I have ever had. Ben used to be a really fat kid. I've seen his mission pictures. But then by the time he was done with his mission, he lost a ton of weight. So he's a normal looking guy now, but with the ultra cool, super nice to everyone personality of a fat kid. Fat kids are some of the nicest kids you'll ever meet. When we got home we ate some peanut butter on snickerdoodles that Ben's mom had made. Delicious. :)
After that I walked over to Wiggle's (in my new really cool jacket...and again, beautiful outside...) where she and Brown Sugar had made spaghetti bake for dinner with garlic bread and cupcakes for dessert. Most of our dinner group was there and we watched 24 and I fell asleep on Wiggle's couch. I awoke to a giant bright light slowly lowering through Wiggle's stained glass window...I was just waking up and still in that sort of daze, so I was thinking the second coming or aliens or something, but we went outside and it turns out they were shooting a movie right across the street at the old Provo Theater and happened to be using a giant stage light to get the right effect. And they did; the scene looked gorgeous. The snow was falling really lightly on this old historic building with these big giant clouds in the sky and really soft light melting like butter all over the snow. Wow.
I walked back past the movie set on the way to my house until I got to this girl Stephanie's apartment. Stephanie and I are on the activities committee and we were in charge of munch and mingle for after ward prayer this week. We had gone to the store earlier in the week to get tons of Bear Creek soup and goldfish crackers and apple juice and now we had to cook the soup. So, cooking soup at Stephanie's for a while was cool and our munch and mingle was a big hit. Her little apartment was packed with our ward, all writing happy notes.
There was this awkward part of the mingling where someone said something about not hanging out with gay people because they are recruiting. I chimed in and said that actually I thought that was really incorrect and that I have a lot of gay friends and many of them would love to live the gospel and keep the commandments. And a super quiet awkward moment ensued. Not awkward for me so much though, I kinda revel in these moments.
So after munch and mingle I stayed at Stephanie's and talked to a few people who were kicking it there, and then I helped Stephanie clean up the mess. When I got back to my apartment, I found that I had two happy notes: one from Stephanie, thanking me for all the help, and the other from Kate! Her's thanked me for being in her Christmas program....
AND said I was a "handsome devil"!!!
I was pretty stoked about that.
Now I'm chilling at home, listening to more Wyclef, who I am really getting into. Also, Carrot sent me a really nice text thanking me for being at her party and saying we need to hang out more. I love Carrot.
Life is taking a wonderful turn for the better lately.
In stark contrast to Wyclef's song, I have to go to church now and talk about the song "O Holy Night" as part of the sacrament meeting Christmas program. O Holy Night is a cool song for life.
P.S. It snowed last night and now it is beautfiul outside. Its so bright that when I first looked out there it hurt my eyes.
Alright, I'm extending this post...
Today was so awesome! I woke up and got a little message written about O Holy Night to say at our ward Christmas program, and it went pretty well. This really cool, really pretty girl named Kate who is the chorister in our ward was in charge of the program and the music was really nice and church was good even though I sort of skipped out on Priesthood and Sunday School. But after reading ATP's latest post, I'm sort of glad I did.
I walked to and from church on campus today. Actually I walked everywhere today. It's so beautiful outside right now. This is the first winter that I have spent in Utah where it looks like the Christmas' you see in movies. Everything is brilliant white and the rooftops are all caked with snow and there is a soft glow from the yellow street lights on the snow on the ground and night comes early but its beautiful because the reflection on the white makes it still seem light out.
After church I went hometeaching to our two guy hometeachees and we had a really good lesson and talked for a while.
My roommate Ben and I are hometeaching companions. I seriously love this kid, he is one of the coolest roommates I have ever had. Ben used to be a really fat kid. I've seen his mission pictures. But then by the time he was done with his mission, he lost a ton of weight. So he's a normal looking guy now, but with the ultra cool, super nice to everyone personality of a fat kid. Fat kids are some of the nicest kids you'll ever meet. When we got home we ate some peanut butter on snickerdoodles that Ben's mom had made. Delicious. :)
After that I walked over to Wiggle's (in my new really cool jacket...and again, beautiful outside...) where she and Brown Sugar had made spaghetti bake for dinner with garlic bread and cupcakes for dessert. Most of our dinner group was there and we watched 24 and I fell asleep on Wiggle's couch. I awoke to a giant bright light slowly lowering through Wiggle's stained glass window...I was just waking up and still in that sort of daze, so I was thinking the second coming or aliens or something, but we went outside and it turns out they were shooting a movie right across the street at the old Provo Theater and happened to be using a giant stage light to get the right effect. And they did; the scene looked gorgeous. The snow was falling really lightly on this old historic building with these big giant clouds in the sky and really soft light melting like butter all over the snow. Wow.
I walked back past the movie set on the way to my house until I got to this girl Stephanie's apartment. Stephanie and I are on the activities committee and we were in charge of munch and mingle for after ward prayer this week. We had gone to the store earlier in the week to get tons of Bear Creek soup and goldfish crackers and apple juice and now we had to cook the soup. So, cooking soup at Stephanie's for a while was cool and our munch and mingle was a big hit. Her little apartment was packed with our ward, all writing happy notes.
There was this awkward part of the mingling where someone said something about not hanging out with gay people because they are recruiting. I chimed in and said that actually I thought that was really incorrect and that I have a lot of gay friends and many of them would love to live the gospel and keep the commandments. And a super quiet awkward moment ensued. Not awkward for me so much though, I kinda revel in these moments.
So after munch and mingle I stayed at Stephanie's and talked to a few people who were kicking it there, and then I helped Stephanie clean up the mess. When I got back to my apartment, I found that I had two happy notes: one from Stephanie, thanking me for all the help, and the other from Kate! Her's thanked me for being in her Christmas program....
AND said I was a "handsome devil"!!!
I was pretty stoked about that.
Now I'm chilling at home, listening to more Wyclef, who I am really getting into. Also, Carrot sent me a really nice text thanking me for being at her party and saying we need to hang out more. I love Carrot.
Life is taking a wonderful turn for the better lately.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Alaska?
From: Princess Tours
Subject: 2007 Princess Tours Application
Wed, 6 Dec 2006 19:36 -0700
Thank you for your application, and your interest in working in Alaska with Princess Tours for the 2007 season. Your application has been received by the administrative staff for review, by the proper department. Preference is given to those applicants able to work the dates that cover the entire season with relevant experience for the positions desired also a strong consideration... We will begin contacting individuals after 15 January 2007 for those who match the qualifications necessary for each position. Thank you for your interest and good luck in your job search for 2007 season .
Denali Princess Administrative Staff.
From: Gray Line of Alaska
Subject: Application for McKinley Explorer
Thu, 7 Dec 2006 16:32 -0700
Dear Pinetree,
Thank you so much for your application and it is currently under
review. We will have a recruiting team in Utah after the first of the year.
We will contact you by telephone prior to our visit to set up an
interview.
Sincerely,
Kim Stanford
Operations Manager-McKinley Explorer
Prayer
When I pray, t’s always hard to say whether I’m actually getting an answer or just making up a response in my head or fabricating some feeling in my gut. Sometimes it probably doesn’t matter because what I assume Heavenly Father would tell me is probably what He would tell me. Does this make sense? Maybe you’ve felt like this before too.
Last week (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) I was praying about a lot of things. I would pray and then try to listen, until I decided I had an answer. But I wasn’t really sure if the answer was coming from me or from Heavenly Father. So I played a little game where I would ask something and then try to come up with a supposed answer from God in my mind. Much to my disappointment and frustration, it worked. I could make myself feel good about whatever response I decided to give myself to the questions I was asking...apparently to myself.
What a horrible feeling, to feel alone...like there really isn’t anyone there, listening, guiding the universe...No one that I can rely on for help...or even worse that we as humans just make stuff up out of necessity...so that we can get over problems and pretend there is more to life when we do dumb things or our babies die or we need to begin again or need a reason to live. Maybe there isn’t a God, and we just invented Jesus and redemption so that we would have a reason to move forward. Maybe while God and Jesus are still good things, they aren’t real.
It’s not incomprehensible to me...it would just suck if it were true.
I need a real Heavenly Father who gives me real answers to my real questions. What good is God a who only lives in my mind and can’t do anything? Such Gods in everyone’s minds would make truth relative, and my religion a silly game.
So while I was praying that night, I told Heavenly Father I needed something real, a real answer I knew was from Him and not made up. It didn’t have to be a sign or anything in particular, I just needed to know my prayers were being heard and answered.
And I did get my prayer answered, in a real way.
I was going to write about exactly what happened here, but I don’t feel like it, and the only reason I wanted to post anything about this was so that I will remember later in my life a time when my prayer was answered, and not with an answer that was just in my head.
Last week (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) I was praying about a lot of things. I would pray and then try to listen, until I decided I had an answer. But I wasn’t really sure if the answer was coming from me or from Heavenly Father. So I played a little game where I would ask something and then try to come up with a supposed answer from God in my mind. Much to my disappointment and frustration, it worked. I could make myself feel good about whatever response I decided to give myself to the questions I was asking...apparently to myself.
What a horrible feeling, to feel alone...like there really isn’t anyone there, listening, guiding the universe...No one that I can rely on for help...or even worse that we as humans just make stuff up out of necessity...so that we can get over problems and pretend there is more to life when we do dumb things or our babies die or we need to begin again or need a reason to live. Maybe there isn’t a God, and we just invented Jesus and redemption so that we would have a reason to move forward. Maybe while God and Jesus are still good things, they aren’t real.
It’s not incomprehensible to me...it would just suck if it were true.
I need a real Heavenly Father who gives me real answers to my real questions. What good is God a who only lives in my mind and can’t do anything? Such Gods in everyone’s minds would make truth relative, and my religion a silly game.
So while I was praying that night, I told Heavenly Father I needed something real, a real answer I knew was from Him and not made up. It didn’t have to be a sign or anything in particular, I just needed to know my prayers were being heard and answered.
And I did get my prayer answered, in a real way.
I was going to write about exactly what happened here, but I don’t feel like it, and the only reason I wanted to post anything about this was so that I will remember later in my life a time when my prayer was answered, and not with an answer that was just in my head.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Rilo Kiley - A Better Son/Daughter
Good Song. I just found it. I really like the lyrics a lot. (caution: profanity)
If you're not into that, try Moby et Mylene Farmer - Slipping Away/Crier la vie.
And if that doesn't do it for you, you have to like Irreplaceable, the new song by Beyonce. It is hip, hands down.
If you're not into that, try Moby et Mylene Farmer - Slipping Away/Crier la vie.
And if that doesn't do it for you, you have to like Irreplaceable, the new song by Beyonce. It is hip, hands down.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Maybes.
I’ve imagined a lot of things lately. I wonder about my testimony.
I wonder about the war in Heaven. I wonder about all those people who went to follow Satan. I bet a lot of my friends went with him. I bet a lot of people that I respected and admired and looked up to went with him. I bet there were people more intelligent than anyone I’ve ever met on earth so far.
I think it really tore me apart.
I imagine I got frustrated with all the spirits on Heavenly Father’s side when they would say things about the spirits who followed Satan. “Oh , they’re all just so completely nuts,” someone might say, or “Why would they not want to follow our plan? They’re so clueless.” I bet I stood up for them a lot to all the spirits who refused to see them as anything but foolish. I bet I thought about taking their side.
Maybe that third of the host of Heaven had a good point, even though we trivialize and berate it so often. Maybe those fallen ones understood how much agency would suck sometimes.
Maybe they realized how horrible it would be when one person, stripped of his or her memory, decided to impose his or her agency in a cruel way towards another person. Maybe they saw rape and murder and child molestation and starvation. Maybe they saw broken hearts. Maybe they saw cancer and arthritis and all the diseases. Maybe they saw despair and suicide. Maybe they saw all of those horrible things and thought it wasn’t fair to judge victims for eternity based on such lives; lives tainted through no fault of their own, but instead marred and defiled by circumstances or other people.
And what about when people screw up other people’s lives without meaning to? What about when our own curiosity or forgetfulness or clumsiness ruins everything for another person, or for a hundred persons, or for a thousand persons? I can think of lots of people who I have hurt without meaning for it to happen.
It just doesn’t seem fair. There’s something not right about it.
Sometimes I think I would prefer to be forced to choose the right thing always. I’m so stupid. And even when I know the right thing to do, I often don’t follow through with it. it would be nice to go through life doing everything right, even if it never proved anything.
So why am I here?
I guess I opted for this side only because of the atonement. And I had to be sure that the atonement would cover everyone for everything, no matter what. I had to be sure everyone would get a chance to hear about the atonement and everyone would be able to use it as many times as they needed to. Even if that meant a lot.
I think even then, the idea agitated me.
Bad things can be so pervasive and relentless and self-perpetuating. But what else could we do? I don’t know.
I feel crappy. I feel like I’ve either abandoned or been abandoned by every good thing that I ever had going here in Utah or anywhere in my life. I feel very alone here. I feel like whenever I’m around people I know, its an act. I feel like I need a fresh start, somewhere else. It doesn’t feel like I can fix any of the messes I’ve made and I don’t really want any pity, though I think I’m understanding a lot more about people who need pity all the time. Some things fuck you up pretty bad.
I wish that I could start my life over knowing all that I do now. Really. I wish I could start again as a little tiny kid. I’d be a better first grader, a better student son, a better friend to more people...I’d be more outgoing than I was. I‘d be more confident about how I looked and how I acted. Maybe I’d even try to ask girls out instead of just going along with them when they asked me. I’d be a better brother. I’d be more articulate, more sympathetic, more intelligent. I’d put more of a concentrated effort into everything I did, making sure it was the best I could do. I’d lay out all my issues and problems for my parents and family really early on so that we could work with them truthfully. I wouldn’t get into strangers’ cars as a teenager. I’d be a missionary.
Maybe this is why the whole reincarnation concept is so appealing.
Life hit a different kind of low tonight at IHOP. It’s been working it’s way down for a while, and then all of a sudden every link in the chain of perpetual misery was there in the same place at the same time, sitting within tables of each other and everything and everyone felt so hopeless and fleeting. Nothing was solid, nothing was reliable, nobody could be friends, everyone is suspicious. There’s always something new to catch your eye and set your hopes on. Depressing.
I have to wake up in less than four hours so I can go rehearse. I don’t feel like dancing. I don’t want to go to the damn football game or get diet cokes with lime for women who have lots more money than me. But I will, until I can change things. I will change things.
I wonder about the war in Heaven. I wonder about all those people who went to follow Satan. I bet a lot of my friends went with him. I bet a lot of people that I respected and admired and looked up to went with him. I bet there were people more intelligent than anyone I’ve ever met on earth so far.
I think it really tore me apart.
I imagine I got frustrated with all the spirits on Heavenly Father’s side when they would say things about the spirits who followed Satan. “Oh , they’re all just so completely nuts,” someone might say, or “Why would they not want to follow our plan? They’re so clueless.” I bet I stood up for them a lot to all the spirits who refused to see them as anything but foolish. I bet I thought about taking their side.
Maybe that third of the host of Heaven had a good point, even though we trivialize and berate it so often. Maybe those fallen ones understood how much agency would suck sometimes.
Maybe they realized how horrible it would be when one person, stripped of his or her memory, decided to impose his or her agency in a cruel way towards another person. Maybe they saw rape and murder and child molestation and starvation. Maybe they saw broken hearts. Maybe they saw cancer and arthritis and all the diseases. Maybe they saw despair and suicide. Maybe they saw all of those horrible things and thought it wasn’t fair to judge victims for eternity based on such lives; lives tainted through no fault of their own, but instead marred and defiled by circumstances or other people.
And what about when people screw up other people’s lives without meaning to? What about when our own curiosity or forgetfulness or clumsiness ruins everything for another person, or for a hundred persons, or for a thousand persons? I can think of lots of people who I have hurt without meaning for it to happen.
It just doesn’t seem fair. There’s something not right about it.
Sometimes I think I would prefer to be forced to choose the right thing always. I’m so stupid. And even when I know the right thing to do, I often don’t follow through with it. it would be nice to go through life doing everything right, even if it never proved anything.
So why am I here?
I guess I opted for this side only because of the atonement. And I had to be sure that the atonement would cover everyone for everything, no matter what. I had to be sure everyone would get a chance to hear about the atonement and everyone would be able to use it as many times as they needed to. Even if that meant a lot.
I think even then, the idea agitated me.
Bad things can be so pervasive and relentless and self-perpetuating. But what else could we do? I don’t know.
I feel crappy. I feel like I’ve either abandoned or been abandoned by every good thing that I ever had going here in Utah or anywhere in my life. I feel very alone here. I feel like whenever I’m around people I know, its an act. I feel like I need a fresh start, somewhere else. It doesn’t feel like I can fix any of the messes I’ve made and I don’t really want any pity, though I think I’m understanding a lot more about people who need pity all the time. Some things fuck you up pretty bad.
I wish that I could start my life over knowing all that I do now. Really. I wish I could start again as a little tiny kid. I’d be a better first grader, a better student son, a better friend to more people...I’d be more outgoing than I was. I‘d be more confident about how I looked and how I acted. Maybe I’d even try to ask girls out instead of just going along with them when they asked me. I’d be a better brother. I’d be more articulate, more sympathetic, more intelligent. I’d put more of a concentrated effort into everything I did, making sure it was the best I could do. I’d lay out all my issues and problems for my parents and family really early on so that we could work with them truthfully. I wouldn’t get into strangers’ cars as a teenager. I’d be a missionary.
Maybe this is why the whole reincarnation concept is so appealing.
Life hit a different kind of low tonight at IHOP. It’s been working it’s way down for a while, and then all of a sudden every link in the chain of perpetual misery was there in the same place at the same time, sitting within tables of each other and everything and everyone felt so hopeless and fleeting. Nothing was solid, nothing was reliable, nobody could be friends, everyone is suspicious. There’s always something new to catch your eye and set your hopes on. Depressing.
I have to wake up in less than four hours so I can go rehearse. I don’t feel like dancing. I don’t want to go to the damn football game or get diet cokes with lime for women who have lots more money than me. But I will, until I can change things. I will change things.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Coldplay - 'Til Kingdom Come
...So I'm feeling pretty emo right now. Be warned. I think I go up and down in cycles and the last few weeks have been the season for feeling like this or something.
You know when you listen to a song and it fuses with an experience or feelings in your gut or just the thought of a person? As of two nights ago, I think this song will be printed onto my brain forever. Or at least for a long time. It's beautiful. It makes me a little depressed to listen to it now, but I keep on doing it anyways. Typical of me. I had heard it before, but now it has it's special little mark on my mind. I should quit feeling things so much and do things instead.
I'm going camping tonight. I went camping last night, but only at the Marriot center to buy people tickets for Christmas Around the World. That doesn't count. Tonight it's for real. Hopefully this will clear the head.
You know when you listen to a song and it fuses with an experience or feelings in your gut or just the thought of a person? As of two nights ago, I think this song will be printed onto my brain forever. Or at least for a long time. It's beautiful. It makes me a little depressed to listen to it now, but I keep on doing it anyways. Typical of me. I had heard it before, but now it has it's special little mark on my mind. I should quit feeling things so much and do things instead.
I'm going camping tonight. I went camping last night, but only at the Marriot center to buy people tickets for Christmas Around the World. That doesn't count. Tonight it's for real. Hopefully this will clear the head.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Halloween.
So for Halloween I was a plug-in airfreshener and Smurf was Pee-wee Herman. Carrot did his extra-white make-up. We were both working at Los. Most of us took turns passing out candy to all the little kids doing the Provo downtown safe trick-or-treat. It was kinda creepy when Smurf was passing out candy in his costume. Pictures to come, maybe. Last I heard, we were tied for the costume contest.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Still good for a fight, even if it doesn't seem like it.
So this blog will cover a lot of things in no order at all. It's sort of a weird mix of stuff, as usual.
HOMECOMING PARADE 2006:
I'm dancing down the streets of Provo dressed in a cowboy suit with the folkdance ensemble. We're doing a gypsy dance and a Ukranian dance and then inbetween those we lift all the girls up and they wave to the crowds on the sidewalks and we all sing "Oh Susana." I'm in formation dancing with my partner, a really pretty girl with these giant beautiful eyes that I find so incredibly attractive on people. Down two people from me (approximately 5 to 8 feet) is this boy that I have a huge crush on. He also has beautiful eyes. He's dressed in liederhosen doing all the same dance moves I'm doing in my cowboy suit. Sometimes real life is so ridiculously unreal.
We won first place among all the entries to the parade.
This boy I was talking about has been driving me nuts lately. He's gay, (otherwise being attracted to him wouldn't bother me at all) and he's always around. I can handle crushes when I never actually have to interact with the person, but I am interacting with this guy on at least a weekly basis now. I'm all self conscious all the time because of it. I don't feel comfortable with how I look or act or do anything and it's really stupid. Having a crush is so frustrating.
COUSIN:
My cousin was just hired at Los Hermanos. Actually she is my cousin's daughter. Mostly all I know about her is that she grew up in Washington and I think she has some eating disorders. Her name is Andrea. I've been forcing myself to remember that. I've run into her 3 or 4 times before on campus or around town and have always had to to sneakily ask a friend to ask her name and then tell me so that I could talk to her to her face without sounding stupid. I had to do it again at work when I realized she had been hired. Really horrible, I know. Hopefully we will get to know each other better now that we work at the same place. Weird that someone in my family, even if it's my extended family, will be around all these people like Smurf or Brown Sugar or hot Rachel who sort of know me. I'd probably better stop cussing at work anymore.
LOIS:
I look up to my older sister, Lois, so much. When I was little, Lois was the sibling who I could go to when my older brother, John, was beating me up or when my older sister Amy (a year older than Lois) was being neglectful or mean. Lois always found a way to make it better or get my mind focused on something else or reason things out with me. She was many times the advocate on behalf of the younger kids, of whom I was the oldest. She could take down my older brother. (She was in top shape from being on a competitive jumproping team...yeah crazy, but also really awesome) She was the sister who also acted as a parent much of the time even when my other older sister would go into her room and read a book or draw or run off with her friend Anna to San Francisco. Lois made dinner and cleaned and changed diapers for my mom all the time.
Last week I rode up to my parents' house with Lois and then we did dishes and then went to her ward prayer and then back to her place where I did my laundry. She is so disciplined in everything. She's the relief society president and she tackles all her responsibilites plus a graduate degree and a full time job with so much grace and efficiency. She has this sort of demure quietness about her, which I think is partly due to the anti-social streak that we both get from our dad, but she interacts with people wherever she sees herself needed and she does it so well. Most of the time she is working around people, like all the lost boys on Peter Pan making a house for Wendy. She gets things done. Last week she was fellowshipping one of the new girls in her ward as well as finding two people places to live. She does all the little stuff like read her scriptures and say her prayers. She's also extremely creative and smart. If she doesn't know how to do something, she'll figure it out.
I asked Lois while we did dishes at my parents' house if she was dating anyone. I think she is really pretty and amazing, but I guess as a family member I'm biased. I've just never seen her go on dates or get all giggly about boys. She dresses really classy and knows how to do herself up, but she's not the type of person who would go up and flirt or tell a someone he had pretty eyes. I was almost afraid to ask a question of this nature because the rest of the family thinks of it as this hush-hush subject. My grandma once tried to set Lois up on a date and it ended very badly. When I came out to my parents, my mom let me know that she had wondered if Lois was a lesbian. (She's not)
Lois replied that she had always just felt like a 40 year old among all her peers. She wants to date a "smart" guy. She said she had a thing a while back for a boy in her ward, and that she thinks he liked her too, but then he got a great job offer in Virginia or something and that was the end of that. The other guys in her ward just weren't really dating material. (really they aren't, I found out by going to her ward prayer. They all still live at home and play playstation all day while all the girls in the ward go get their graduate degrees or PhD's or work in professional careers. It's really lame)
I hope something good happens to Lois. Actually, I don't worry about it too much because I know she always turns whatever she's given into something productive and beautiful. Most recently I am proud of Lois for going running regularly with her roommate now. She says she hates it because she can do hours of jumproping and be just fine but a few miles of running will get her all short of breath. It's good for her though and she keeps at it.
I'm not sure what I meant to say here exactly, but there are some thoughts in words about my sister, who means a lot to me. It's good for me to put these things into words. Maybe another day I will write about another of my family members. They're really all wonderful even if they seem ordinary.
SCHOOL:
I'm secretly hoping to flunk out of school this semester. If I do, I'm going to work until my contract at my current apartment expires, and then I'm going on an extended adventure, at least for the duration of my academic suspension from BYU. I'm going to be a bum, but not just for a couple of days. I will ride trains and get around however I need to and eat out of garbage cans if need be and go and see or do anything I want to anywhere I want to.
I am trying to get good grades though. I'm such a crappy student.
CHURCH:
Church last week was great. During priesthood meeting, the EQP had told us all to go into Sunday School as reverently and quietly as possible. So we all did. When we got to class, there was a Powerpoint screen up that said something like, "Today's lesson is going to be a little different. No one is going to speak. *change slide* "The objective of today's lesson will be to be in touch with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, whose voice is still and small." *change slide* "Please take a moment to silently say your own opening prayer."
I thought this was sort of silly. I've always thought church classes went so much better when there was lots of discussion. Also my roommate, Russel, who was teaching the lesson is this extra spiritual/EFY Counselor/Peter Priesthood type of guy, so I thought maybe this was all some bogus attempt to make him look even more righteous or something, and I was kind of rolling my eyes and being all skeptical about it. I said my own opening prayer, asking Heavenly Father to please let me take all this seriously and help me not to laugh.
The lesson turned out to be really, really good. Basically he had us flipping to scriptures, reading them silently, and then silently writing answers to prompts he put up on the screen with power point. It made everyone think very personally about some basic questions. In one instance, Russel pulled a quote from Jesus the Christ talking about how the existence of Christ is pretty much indisputable as we have historical evidence that the man Jesus actually existed and taught and preached. The next slide went on to talk about how some believe in Christ as just a man, some as a great teacher, and some as the literal son of God and everything in between. The next slide simply asked, "What think ye of Christ?"
This caught me off guard a little. I tried to think of why I believe in Jesus Christ as more than just a great teacher, but my Lord. Things like emaculate conception or all the miracles or fasting for forty days or being half man and half God are all wonderful, but I don't really understand them and can't base a testimony on them. After a lot of pondering, I reminded myself once again why I believe in Jesus Christ as divinity.
Every time I do something wrong or stupid or shameful, there is a great loving power beyond me that can patch me up, express his concern for me, make me feel like I'm worth something, and get me back out doing the right thing again. There is a mechanism by which I can rise above my inadequacies and summon the better angel of my nature. I can feel better, I can do better, I can be better. I can pass this love along to other people. I can become perfect, no matter how unfit I am now. The power to do this is called the atonement, and everyone can use it. Jesus Christ is the reason we all have access to this power. He is the force that can pull an object moving in one direction back to the right direction. I don't completely understand this, but I can feel it working for me, personally. I can feel it in my bones and all over and I can watch it work in other people, whether they seem to be much better or much worse off than I. I can base a testimony on this because I know it is true and it works for me. I know that without this help, I would be doomed to a course of self-destruction and misery. We would really be as hopeless as we are sometimes compelled to feel.
I believe in the atonement, and therefore I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior and redeemer. Thusly, he must have been deity; much, much more than just a man who understood a little better than everyone else.
....
I've had so much on my mind lately, I'm sure I had more to write about, but I can't remember it right now.
Here's a little tidbit for your entertainment:
FAKE ENGAGEMENT PICTURE:
This is my friend Veronica and I in our fake engagement picture. Look how butch I am. Sort of.
Goodnight.
HOMECOMING PARADE 2006:
I'm dancing down the streets of Provo dressed in a cowboy suit with the folkdance ensemble. We're doing a gypsy dance and a Ukranian dance and then inbetween those we lift all the girls up and they wave to the crowds on the sidewalks and we all sing "Oh Susana." I'm in formation dancing with my partner, a really pretty girl with these giant beautiful eyes that I find so incredibly attractive on people. Down two people from me (approximately 5 to 8 feet) is this boy that I have a huge crush on. He also has beautiful eyes. He's dressed in liederhosen doing all the same dance moves I'm doing in my cowboy suit. Sometimes real life is so ridiculously unreal.
We won first place among all the entries to the parade.
This boy I was talking about has been driving me nuts lately. He's gay, (otherwise being attracted to him wouldn't bother me at all) and he's always around. I can handle crushes when I never actually have to interact with the person, but I am interacting with this guy on at least a weekly basis now. I'm all self conscious all the time because of it. I don't feel comfortable with how I look or act or do anything and it's really stupid. Having a crush is so frustrating.
COUSIN:
My cousin was just hired at Los Hermanos. Actually she is my cousin's daughter. Mostly all I know about her is that she grew up in Washington and I think she has some eating disorders. Her name is Andrea. I've been forcing myself to remember that. I've run into her 3 or 4 times before on campus or around town and have always had to to sneakily ask a friend to ask her name and then tell me so that I could talk to her to her face without sounding stupid. I had to do it again at work when I realized she had been hired. Really horrible, I know. Hopefully we will get to know each other better now that we work at the same place. Weird that someone in my family, even if it's my extended family, will be around all these people like Smurf or Brown Sugar or hot Rachel who sort of know me. I'd probably better stop cussing at work anymore.
LOIS:
I look up to my older sister, Lois, so much. When I was little, Lois was the sibling who I could go to when my older brother, John, was beating me up or when my older sister Amy (a year older than Lois) was being neglectful or mean. Lois always found a way to make it better or get my mind focused on something else or reason things out with me. She was many times the advocate on behalf of the younger kids, of whom I was the oldest. She could take down my older brother. (She was in top shape from being on a competitive jumproping team...yeah crazy, but also really awesome) She was the sister who also acted as a parent much of the time even when my other older sister would go into her room and read a book or draw or run off with her friend Anna to San Francisco. Lois made dinner and cleaned and changed diapers for my mom all the time.
Last week I rode up to my parents' house with Lois and then we did dishes and then went to her ward prayer and then back to her place where I did my laundry. She is so disciplined in everything. She's the relief society president and she tackles all her responsibilites plus a graduate degree and a full time job with so much grace and efficiency. She has this sort of demure quietness about her, which I think is partly due to the anti-social streak that we both get from our dad, but she interacts with people wherever she sees herself needed and she does it so well. Most of the time she is working around people, like all the lost boys on Peter Pan making a house for Wendy. She gets things done. Last week she was fellowshipping one of the new girls in her ward as well as finding two people places to live. She does all the little stuff like read her scriptures and say her prayers. She's also extremely creative and smart. If she doesn't know how to do something, she'll figure it out.
I asked Lois while we did dishes at my parents' house if she was dating anyone. I think she is really pretty and amazing, but I guess as a family member I'm biased. I've just never seen her go on dates or get all giggly about boys. She dresses really classy and knows how to do herself up, but she's not the type of person who would go up and flirt or tell a someone he had pretty eyes. I was almost afraid to ask a question of this nature because the rest of the family thinks of it as this hush-hush subject. My grandma once tried to set Lois up on a date and it ended very badly. When I came out to my parents, my mom let me know that she had wondered if Lois was a lesbian. (She's not)
Lois replied that she had always just felt like a 40 year old among all her peers. She wants to date a "smart" guy. She said she had a thing a while back for a boy in her ward, and that she thinks he liked her too, but then he got a great job offer in Virginia or something and that was the end of that. The other guys in her ward just weren't really dating material. (really they aren't, I found out by going to her ward prayer. They all still live at home and play playstation all day while all the girls in the ward go get their graduate degrees or PhD's or work in professional careers. It's really lame)
I hope something good happens to Lois. Actually, I don't worry about it too much because I know she always turns whatever she's given into something productive and beautiful. Most recently I am proud of Lois for going running regularly with her roommate now. She says she hates it because she can do hours of jumproping and be just fine but a few miles of running will get her all short of breath. It's good for her though and she keeps at it.
I'm not sure what I meant to say here exactly, but there are some thoughts in words about my sister, who means a lot to me. It's good for me to put these things into words. Maybe another day I will write about another of my family members. They're really all wonderful even if they seem ordinary.
SCHOOL:
I'm secretly hoping to flunk out of school this semester. If I do, I'm going to work until my contract at my current apartment expires, and then I'm going on an extended adventure, at least for the duration of my academic suspension from BYU. I'm going to be a bum, but not just for a couple of days. I will ride trains and get around however I need to and eat out of garbage cans if need be and go and see or do anything I want to anywhere I want to.
I am trying to get good grades though. I'm such a crappy student.
CHURCH:
Church last week was great. During priesthood meeting, the EQP had told us all to go into Sunday School as reverently and quietly as possible. So we all did. When we got to class, there was a Powerpoint screen up that said something like, "Today's lesson is going to be a little different. No one is going to speak. *change slide* "The objective of today's lesson will be to be in touch with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, whose voice is still and small." *change slide* "Please take a moment to silently say your own opening prayer."
I thought this was sort of silly. I've always thought church classes went so much better when there was lots of discussion. Also my roommate, Russel, who was teaching the lesson is this extra spiritual/EFY Counselor/Peter Priesthood type of guy, so I thought maybe this was all some bogus attempt to make him look even more righteous or something, and I was kind of rolling my eyes and being all skeptical about it. I said my own opening prayer, asking Heavenly Father to please let me take all this seriously and help me not to laugh.
The lesson turned out to be really, really good. Basically he had us flipping to scriptures, reading them silently, and then silently writing answers to prompts he put up on the screen with power point. It made everyone think very personally about some basic questions. In one instance, Russel pulled a quote from Jesus the Christ talking about how the existence of Christ is pretty much indisputable as we have historical evidence that the man Jesus actually existed and taught and preached. The next slide went on to talk about how some believe in Christ as just a man, some as a great teacher, and some as the literal son of God and everything in between. The next slide simply asked, "What think ye of Christ?"
This caught me off guard a little. I tried to think of why I believe in Jesus Christ as more than just a great teacher, but my Lord. Things like emaculate conception or all the miracles or fasting for forty days or being half man and half God are all wonderful, but I don't really understand them and can't base a testimony on them. After a lot of pondering, I reminded myself once again why I believe in Jesus Christ as divinity.
Every time I do something wrong or stupid or shameful, there is a great loving power beyond me that can patch me up, express his concern for me, make me feel like I'm worth something, and get me back out doing the right thing again. There is a mechanism by which I can rise above my inadequacies and summon the better angel of my nature. I can feel better, I can do better, I can be better. I can pass this love along to other people. I can become perfect, no matter how unfit I am now. The power to do this is called the atonement, and everyone can use it. Jesus Christ is the reason we all have access to this power. He is the force that can pull an object moving in one direction back to the right direction. I don't completely understand this, but I can feel it working for me, personally. I can feel it in my bones and all over and I can watch it work in other people, whether they seem to be much better or much worse off than I. I can base a testimony on this because I know it is true and it works for me. I know that without this help, I would be doomed to a course of self-destruction and misery. We would really be as hopeless as we are sometimes compelled to feel.
I believe in the atonement, and therefore I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior and redeemer. Thusly, he must have been deity; much, much more than just a man who understood a little better than everyone else.
....
I've had so much on my mind lately, I'm sure I had more to write about, but I can't remember it right now.
Here's a little tidbit for your entertainment:
FAKE ENGAGEMENT PICTURE:
This is my friend Veronica and I in our fake engagement picture. Look how butch I am. Sort of.Goodnight.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Persuasions.
Take this test. Post your results so I can know whether or not we should really be friends anymore...
Okay, so I'll probably be your friend regardless because let's face it, I need friends. At any rate, this is an interesting test, especially for political science majors. Or even kids who just say their major is political science so that people will get off their back because they really plan on being a bum and running around on trains when they get older because they hate school. The point is it's for everybody. :)
Okay, so I'll probably be your friend regardless because let's face it, I need friends. At any rate, this is an interesting test, especially for political science majors. Or even kids who just say their major is political science so that people will get off their back because they really plan on being a bum and running around on trains when they get older because they hate school. The point is it's for everybody. :)
| You are a Social Moderate (56% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (25% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Boo-yeah.
I ran a marathon yesterday! For some reason we didn't really photograph any of this, but there were a bunch of professional photographers taking pictures at a couple of points in the race, so maybe I will get one if they arent too pricey and post it on here later.
At any rate, here is a little breakdown of the marathon for you:
•We start driving to St. George sometime around 7. I'm hella tired and having hella stupid conversations with El Veneno. Sometimes Gilmore Guy and El Veneno's friend who is a girl would talk too, but not often.
•We stop at Subway in Fillmore(?). Some girl there who is barely out of high school is flirting with this 41 year old Mexican dude. I think the Mexican dude is kind of embarrassed. Isn't this supposed to happen the other way around? I'm not really hungry because I've been feeling kinda sick lately, but I know I need to eat something so Gilmore Guy and I split some kind of sandwich. We get back in the car and get to play the cd I brought. I'm glad, even though maybe some of the songs are chick music.
•We stop at a friend of El Veneno's friend who is a girl, and crash at her place for about 4 hours, until the alarm clocks on our phones go off around 4:45 AM
•El Veneno drives Gilmore Guy and I to the registration point, and then the bus pick-up point. Gilmore Guy and I cram onto a yellow schoolbus at around 5 AM. It's three to a seat, so I have Gilmore Guy on my right and this older guy on my left. I make some conversation with the old guy and he actually gives us a few bits of handy information about the race.
•We get off the bus. I think must still be dreaming. There are thousands of people out here in this giant mass. Some of the giant mass is huddled around giant bon-fires. It's still the middle of night and the moon is almost full and shiny. It really looks like a dream. There is loud music playing. Gilmore Guy and I pin our numbers on, throw our stuff in a truck, eat a third of a banana and some gatorade, and then work our way through the crowd to a bonfire. I'm trying to convince myself that I really, really am going to run a marathon in a few minutes. I'm jumping to try to stay warm, but worried that I might be burning off my banana.
•The race starts...It's still pitch black out. All of a sudden I start feeling really good, like this is a perfectly achievable goal. Gilmore Guy and I talk and run and it's pretty enjoyable. The scenery is really pretty, especially as the sun begins to come up.
•Miles 5-10: There are some steep hills. We get over them. Still doing great, smiling, pretty happy.
•Mile 13: There are all these people around cheering us on and I'm giving five to all these little kids, and I'm feeling pumped and great. Damn, this marathon crap is easy.
•Mile 18: Okay, my feet and knees are hurting a little. Also, I'm getting some diaper rash. That's not cool, but I'm still feeling good, still pretty zen
•Mile 21: I'm back into town. I take back my thoughts about the marathon from mile 13. I'm getting kinda tired.
•Mile 24: I have to commit myself to making my legs continue in the running motion until I am done.
•Mile 26: Holy Hell. I am dying. I want to stop and walk. I don't care about all these people screaming at me that I'm so close and I should keep it up. In fact, they are kinda pissing me off. I try to think of inspirational things and people and songs. I keep on turning corners in St. George thinking that I will see the finish line, but it's never there. My thinking goes something like this, "When will this mile end? If I turn another corner and it's not there, I'm walking....Okay, maybe just ONE more corner...I swear I'm not running to another corner...Okay, this is the last freaking corner..." etc...
•The end - 26.2: I've passed the finish line! I can't believe I'm actually done now! I beat four hours by a comfortable margin! LOOK AT ALL THIS FREE FOOD!!!!!!!! This is what the Celestial Kingdom must feel like. I'm gaining a testimony of it.
•The next 15 minutes: I am drinking water and gatorade and eating cliff bars, bread, and ice cream sandwiches like a poor red-headed stepchild. I start to feel really, really sick to my stomach about the time I see Gilmore Guy come in. I'm glad we both made it though, and exceeded expectations. We go to a table and find out our exact times by having some lady wave a magic wand over the chips tied to our shoelaces. I'm pleased with my first marathon time of 3:46:06, and I get a sticker that has my time printed on it.
•We get all our stuff and load into the car again. I feel kinda sick still and we stop at restrooms like 3 times on the way back home. I'm a little embarrassed about how ridiculous I'm being, but I think even more just not caring and wanting to get home really bad. El Veneno is pretty patient with me as a passenger in his car. I try to fall asleep a lot.
• You can check out stats at www.stgeorgemarathon.com. Click on the runpix results link and then type in my last name.
All in all, the marathon was really great. I really like running people, they are super friendly. I want to do this again, and I will because we need to run one with El Veneno. Marathoning may be my third favorite religion, right after Mormonism and Oprah.
At any rate, here is a little breakdown of the marathon for you:
•We start driving to St. George sometime around 7. I'm hella tired and having hella stupid conversations with El Veneno. Sometimes Gilmore Guy and El Veneno's friend who is a girl would talk too, but not often.
•We stop at Subway in Fillmore(?). Some girl there who is barely out of high school is flirting with this 41 year old Mexican dude. I think the Mexican dude is kind of embarrassed. Isn't this supposed to happen the other way around? I'm not really hungry because I've been feeling kinda sick lately, but I know I need to eat something so Gilmore Guy and I split some kind of sandwich. We get back in the car and get to play the cd I brought. I'm glad, even though maybe some of the songs are chick music.
•We stop at a friend of El Veneno's friend who is a girl, and crash at her place for about 4 hours, until the alarm clocks on our phones go off around 4:45 AM
•El Veneno drives Gilmore Guy and I to the registration point, and then the bus pick-up point. Gilmore Guy and I cram onto a yellow schoolbus at around 5 AM. It's three to a seat, so I have Gilmore Guy on my right and this older guy on my left. I make some conversation with the old guy and he actually gives us a few bits of handy information about the race.
•We get off the bus. I think must still be dreaming. There are thousands of people out here in this giant mass. Some of the giant mass is huddled around giant bon-fires. It's still the middle of night and the moon is almost full and shiny. It really looks like a dream. There is loud music playing. Gilmore Guy and I pin our numbers on, throw our stuff in a truck, eat a third of a banana and some gatorade, and then work our way through the crowd to a bonfire. I'm trying to convince myself that I really, really am going to run a marathon in a few minutes. I'm jumping to try to stay warm, but worried that I might be burning off my banana.
•The race starts...It's still pitch black out. All of a sudden I start feeling really good, like this is a perfectly achievable goal. Gilmore Guy and I talk and run and it's pretty enjoyable. The scenery is really pretty, especially as the sun begins to come up.
•Miles 5-10: There are some steep hills. We get over them. Still doing great, smiling, pretty happy.
•Mile 13: There are all these people around cheering us on and I'm giving five to all these little kids, and I'm feeling pumped and great. Damn, this marathon crap is easy.
•Mile 18: Okay, my feet and knees are hurting a little. Also, I'm getting some diaper rash. That's not cool, but I'm still feeling good, still pretty zen
•Mile 21: I'm back into town. I take back my thoughts about the marathon from mile 13. I'm getting kinda tired.
•Mile 24: I have to commit myself to making my legs continue in the running motion until I am done.
•Mile 26: Holy Hell. I am dying. I want to stop and walk. I don't care about all these people screaming at me that I'm so close and I should keep it up. In fact, they are kinda pissing me off. I try to think of inspirational things and people and songs. I keep on turning corners in St. George thinking that I will see the finish line, but it's never there. My thinking goes something like this, "When will this mile end? If I turn another corner and it's not there, I'm walking....Okay, maybe just ONE more corner...I swear I'm not running to another corner...Okay, this is the last freaking corner..." etc...
•The end - 26.2: I've passed the finish line! I can't believe I'm actually done now! I beat four hours by a comfortable margin! LOOK AT ALL THIS FREE FOOD!!!!!!!! This is what the Celestial Kingdom must feel like. I'm gaining a testimony of it.
•The next 15 minutes: I am drinking water and gatorade and eating cliff bars, bread, and ice cream sandwiches like a poor red-headed stepchild. I start to feel really, really sick to my stomach about the time I see Gilmore Guy come in. I'm glad we both made it though, and exceeded expectations. We go to a table and find out our exact times by having some lady wave a magic wand over the chips tied to our shoelaces. I'm pleased with my first marathon time of 3:46:06, and I get a sticker that has my time printed on it.
•We get all our stuff and load into the car again. I feel kinda sick still and we stop at restrooms like 3 times on the way back home. I'm a little embarrassed about how ridiculous I'm being, but I think even more just not caring and wanting to get home really bad. El Veneno is pretty patient with me as a passenger in his car. I try to fall asleep a lot.
• You can check out stats at www.stgeorgemarathon.com. Click on the runpix results link and then type in my last name.
All in all, the marathon was really great. I really like running people, they are super friendly. I want to do this again, and I will because we need to run one with El Veneno. Marathoning may be my third favorite religion, right after Mormonism and Oprah.
Monday, October 02, 2006
ASSIGNMENT
Everyone who sees this today, October 2nd...watch Oprah tonight, whenever it comes on. I think 12:20 or 12:30 at night on channel 2 in Utah. I dunno elsewhere. Samantha, you might be especially interested in this one.
Then you should all tell me what you think. This stuff makes me think and think and think. And go nuts. Watch it.
Then you should all tell me what you think. This stuff makes me think and think and think. And go nuts. Watch it.
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